This one time I was on a trip mid-miscarriage. It was terrible because I wasn’t getting a kid, but I still had barfy cravings. Anyways, I ate buttloads from that minibar. Just a lot of stuff. And the guy came in when I was lying in bed all gross feeling to “check the bar” and he marked it as untouched. I don't know if…

Mr. Von Black is a Kiwi, and we are considering relocating there. Trust me when I say one needs to do the research and have the right papers in order to bring their furry compatriots (Hugo Chavez The Red Menace, Cardinal Fang and Steve, in our case...), or you will end up with a quarantined animal, tons of fees, or…

He used to mean so much to me. And now he has rogue patches of wiry hair on his neck and purple tinted glasses and I don’t know where it all went wrong.

*sigh*

Insisting that the rest of the English-speaking world adhere to your particular syntactic preferences is not a path that will lead to happiness and contentment. Insisting that the rest of the English-speaking world adhere to your particular syntactic preferences is, however, a terrific way to feel smug and superior to…

I think this was where the sketch started. Around the 1:00 mark she starts impersonating female celebs on talk shows;

If you wanna get REALLY meta about it, all I can think is that Amy Schumer should have a late night show. She’s a great comedian so she would nail the monologue portion, and she’s even BETTER at interviewing people. The part of her show where she interviews random people on the street might be my favorite part of her…

Okay, I have some friends involved in this group. Here’s what I’ve been able to suss out from the flurry of Facebook posts:

So my parents bought their retirement home from a wealthy, childless gay couple. Y’all, this spot is wall-to-wall party showers. We’re talking minimum 25 square feet in the smallest one with 3 shower heads, and the master bedroom with, no fucking shit, 12 heads total and enough room to comfortably fit at least 10-15…

i can’t stop thinking about this tweet

In college, i lived in a 4-person room (it had two bunk beds) with two other people. So I slept on one of the top bunks but made the bottom one my fort. It was amazing. I would just hide in there and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer all the time.

I’ve worked on airplanes for almost 15 years now. I’ve worked at the airlines — believe me people — BELIEVE ME — do not let your kid lay on that floor. Just don’t. I wish I had a picture of opened floorboards and carpet on these jets. The sheer amount of human hair and unknown sticky substance is quite horrifying. The…

An Irish-Catholic family talking about major problems?

“I want to push your head down really hard while you give me head”

No dice. I would love a little blood sugar sext magik but my partner is a literal dude with an impaired romantic imagination. The few times I’ve tried, with innocuous but hopefully leading messages like “I wish you were in my bed right now,” I get matter of fact responses like “too bad we live so far apart.” :/

There's really no point in feeling guilty about nail salons, because pretty much our entire civilization and way of life is built on drastically reducing the quality of life of the people who do the dirty work/slave labor.

And without the use of the word cougar.

I just want to clear a few things up as someone “in the know” about how airplanes and flight catering actually works.

Comments like these make me sad as someone who has tried to assess becoming a full-time photographer. One typical wedding can take up ~40 hours of a photographer’s time in between travel, initial meeting, the shoot, photo editing, and designing album layouts. From the payment, you need to subtract out income and sales…