Many schools peg Spring Break to Easter, and the ones who don't almost always still give off Good Friday and/or the Monday after Easter, ya shithead.

This is a reason I really think schools should just go year round. More holidays during the year helps break things up without the brain drain that happens in the summer.

Yayyyy! You missed an important part of the story, though—Liletta's manufacturers have committed to supplying Liletta to family planning clinics at below-market costs to help low-income/uninsured women get highly effective BC.

I wish someone would make a really butch sounding IUD. I would 100% get an IUD that was called something like "ThunderGuts" and came with one of those Detroit type "this is America, we don't worry about being fancy, we just get the damn job done" commercials.

I'm eight weeks post blindside-break up and every time my ex tells me he misses me and wants to be friends, my eyes roll SO HARD. He wants a backup girl. He doesn't want to date me, but he wants to know I'm on retainer. Please. I do not have time for that. I stopped taking to him the moment he moved his stuff out of…

I am six weeks post blindside-breakup and want nothing more than for my ex to vaporize into nothingness and be annihilated forevermore. I already have plenty of friends.

most men's penises are 5.16 inches long and 4.6 inches around

Well, shit. Guess I want to get married now, because I have just seen my DREAM wedding dress.

yes they do

The Obama's had burgers and fries once so she can't encourage people to eat healthy foods? I'm pretty sure she's not trying to outlaw fries or oreos, just make sure that children grow up having junk food as a special, infrequent treat instead of a cornerstone of their diet.

whenever someone says that ("would you like fries with your order") as an insult to demean someone I cringe
what the fuck is wrong with having a job. that comment is so fucking classist and gross. get over yourself

I would always go through the line of a particularly cute grocery clerk. One day, I heard him saying he got off work at 12:30 am. About 12:20, I went through his line with some beer and snacks. He said "What are you doing buying beer at midnight?" and I said "Inviting you over when you get off in 10 minutes." He came…

My husband and I met in grad school and didn't hit it off immediately. We got stuck in the same miserable class together on Monday nights. It talked about music history, and one night the instructor went on an endless ramble about Schubert's "syphilis attacks" and kept saying the nonsense phrase "syphilis attacks"…

Oh, and

My ex husband never got that I was asking him out (we were teenagers), so I finally just told him to come to the movies with me and a big group of friends. And asked him to pick me up. We get to the movie and he's like, "...where's everyone else?"

Newly single, I ran into this hot guy I was acquainted with at a bar after my band played a show. I was like "Hey, I know you. What's your name again?"

He told me his name and my next question was "Wanna go make out in your car?"

February 26, 2015

here is mine who hates me