I bought my dress off Etsy about 5 years ago not with the intention of it being my wedding dress bc I was totally against marriage at that point but bc I had to have it. 50's vintage and incredible. Now that I am not dead set against marriage it may serve an actual purpose that is not just to fill my vintage obsession.

here she is, I can't wait to wear her!

Shade Court is the single greatest regular feature of Jez: the Next Generation.

Dear Artie,

I know that sometimes, I get confused about humor, so I wanted to share this little bit of wisdom my mother shared when I was a kid. It helps me remember when things are appropriate and when they're not.

It goes like this. *ahem* Jokes are when people laugh.

I tried to find a gif of his and Christian Bale's sex scene in Velvet Goldmine and frankly cannot believe that I couldn't find it, but here's this:

Mark, you forgot this one of Robert DeNiro and Gerard Depardieu getting a handjob together.

He was in originally, but I had to take him out to make room for more prominent peen. You understand.

Daniel Craig, "Love is the Devil"

That's some illustration ya got there, Mark.

I just picked up House of Leaves. I don't think I'm ready for this.

Ooh, just don't let Ryan Murphy near it. He'll have the Phantom singing Sia's "Chandelier."

Peggy Olsen, is that you?

Taco Bell, you need to remaster this ad and start running it again asap. Just put a red slash through the 59¢ thing and superimpose "[whatever the current price is], sorry, inflation." The ironic listeners of bad 80s music will go fucking nuts.

I wish I had a photo of this sweet Halloween memory. One year in college Halloween landed on a weeknight, and I had an early class the next day so I pulled it together and stayed in. The next morning I was walking to said early class and I saw the SADDEST little bumblebee, holding her stinger in her hand, shuffling…

So at the end of the day, I knew that was a mistake I would never make again, but I take into consideration like, dang, I was like 17-18—I'm 25

I sort of feel like this guy thinks that he's Christian from "Nip/Tuck".

"No one is forcing you to live in NYC."

hot take: fuck this guy

I Don't Notice What You Look Like Because You Scare Me When You Catcall!