Don’t laugh at the stock photo of that child. My own daughter was recently diagnosed with shutterstock. She has watermarks all over her face and body, and she refuses to go outdoors.

This pic is so me. I will gorge on shrimp until I’m passed out or my eyeballs are pink.

Bag of already cooked “salad shrimp” (which is cocktail shrimp size) from Costco, $17.99. All you have to do is thaw. You’re welcome.

Goal reached!

I’m refusing to acknowledge this tweet as full-on shade until Judge Kara rules that it is so. Just saying.

The year is 2016. C.A. Pinkham posts “Restaurant Customers with Request from Hell.” The first letter reports some wacko asking for a mug of cocktail sauce, screaming across the restaurant for the cocktail sauce, attempting to access the kitchen to “MAKE IT MY OWN GODDAMN SELF GIVE ME THE COCKTAIL SAUCE!”

I haven’t even read the post yet. Just wanted to say that now I want shrimp cocktail. Like, ALL of the shrimp. Thanks.

thoughts:
1. the cringe-worthy opening sequence with vince vaughn was eliminated from my memory during that post-car accident scene and the bar scene with colin farrell. like where has that been because i want to see more

Look, if any man of mine leaves me like that, I’m jealous too. You’re supposed to dance with the one who brought you, right? But you swapping guys with your ex-best friend? That don’t impress me much.

unclench, please.

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought, “Well done? Really, Nicki? You can do better.” I like my steak pink like her first album.

I think, in context, she’s saying that *she* would look like a malnourished bird if she lost a lot of weight.

“Do you think Kate asked Angelina about that time she wore a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck?”

That’s a good call by you Nicki on the wine but the Steak? Hank Hill said it best.

I also like how this addressed British rule in Ireland, and lightweight legitimized the Irish Republican Army’s political defiance over being subjugated by imperialism.

My wife made the EXACT same face, since she has the Lean In book on her nightstand. I almost died laughing.

I love this show and I really liked this episode. Bo’s face during the “lean out” thing was priceless and I’m pretty sure I made the same face with her. Save those lives, Bo!

Me too. I love Charlie always asking “does the girl twin still live with you?”

Diane is a revelation. I love her Seinfeld/Newman beef with Charlie.

I laughed, I cringed, I giggled, and sighed with relief when the kid wasn’t a Republican.