Cue the "We can't get rid of guns in MERICA because they're illegal in London and people get hit by hammers!"

She is Beyonce level fierce. Like, I can't even. I've watched this like six times.

I'm not even ashamed to admit that this actually makes me a little teary. What a fucking awesome role model.

No- he's a commercial airline pilot. But he was in the military so he has mad survival skills. Basically my father is Liam Neeson in Taken, and can do anything.

My Dad pulled this trick with my guinea pig when I was 8. She died, probably from being a pregnant elderly pig, and Dad saved the day and her two baby piglets by performing a C-section. It was mildly traumatizing but Arnold and Priscilla honored their mom every day.

Um, duh. Kate Bosworth is a fashion plate. She deserves SEVERAL Vogue covers.

Seriously though. I don't think I can choose between caffeine and xanax. This is my own personal Sophie's choice.

Vodka tampon FTW.

Sweet tea enemas...sweet Jesus. It's like shoving diabetes up your ass. I'm terrified.*

I once waited in line at the Taco Bell by Wrigley Field for two hours on St. Patrick's Day. All for some tacos. Then I went home and studied for an Art History exam. Ah, college.

I was just having this conversation with my mom. My parents are *fairly* conservative in that they weren't super excited when I moved in with my boyfriend, but they also are smart enough to know that their grown ass children can and will do what they want. After a year, said boyfriend took me ring shopping and then a…

My former roommate worked at Victoria's Secret during college. People would return stuff and they'd put it back on the floor no questions asked. I would never, ever, ever buy anything from there. But if you do, dear GOD wash it before putting it on your person.

Slim Jims are for sure NOT gluten free. I can't believe I didn't catch onto that part- I'm celiac and normally that stuff jumps out at me. Though Kerri could be one of those bandwagoners...

This is the one part I'm suspicious about. Harvey Weinstein does not deign to speak to people he DOES know, much less strangers...

That constipation one is no joke. I've had a couple of friends who have gone to the gyno, and the doctor couldn't find an ovary because they had "loops in their bowels". Moral of the story- take a giant shit before you go in for your Pap.

Jason Biggs gave birth? NO. His wife did, though. Mazel Tov to both of them!

Beautiful is the word we're using to describe Katy Perry in that image? Because Katy Perry is gorgeous and that picture is FUCKING TERRIBLE.

"Stop giving young girls a complex! My countless other procedures aren't creating an unrealistic standard of beauty!"

Ok, but what about claws? Because my cat does not scratch- he punctures. It hurts like a mofo. But he's so fucking cute.

That was my one complaint- my surgery was also covered by insurance and I still wound up paying nearly $4k when all was said and done. That part was rough.