I pee hourly due to water intake. Tell your boss to suck it.

OB FTW.

I for one, love my religious Fredomes.

These stories break my heart. There's always SOMEONE who cares. Maybe you haven't met them yet. But someone will be there.

I can't wait for these fuckfaces to turn 18 and vote republican. We're in trouble.

Ugh. Is there a way you can report this bitch? Like call up CVS headquarters and tell them what's up? Do your fucking job lady. This makes me stabby.

XOXO,

Honestly my takeaway of the most reccent episode is when Jack's all, "hey I didn't go to Haiti. I'm back" and just left Sammy with Emily/Amanda. What the hell, Jack? Why didn't you immediately go claim your dog?

Wait- are there more episodes? I thought the finale aired already. No way its not coming back. That bitch Sammy is a STAR.

I don't think I could ever buy a foreclosed on house. I'd feel haunted by the idea that it was someone's home that was taken away from them. This probably makes me a sucker. I have guilt issues, what can i say.

I do not like babies, nor anything to do with them. Little baby hats, little baby tutus, little baby Air Jordans, little baby tampons- I'm just not interested. However this article literally had me leaning toward my computer, devouring line after line. This deserves a Pulitzer. Fascinating.

What a douche. #isthislongenough

I'm sorry, but Irish drinking things are not exclusive to Urban Outfitters. I'd be more angry at the city of Chicago if I were them.

See: Tanning, smoking cigarettes

Or perhaps they are french. Have you met my daughter, Madrange? Or spanish! Hello, my name is Chorizo.

Pointing out racism by using racism! #iseewhatyoudidthere

Who the hell names their kid Sausagea?

I had a professor in college who lived on the very north side of Chicago, just bordering the North Shore suburbs. The public school in his neighborhood wasn't the greatest, so his 14 year old son was testing to try and get into a more prestigious public high school in the city. Their backup plan, if he did not get…

I'll just leave this here

I know I've gained weight when I have to unbutton my pants at my desk BEFORE lunch.