I follow him for the amusement of his asinine tweets. This is hardly the worst of them.

How do you feel about spoilt? Just kidding, I can guess how you feel.

Or Mega Piranha! Now that's some scary shit.

but is is NAY-LEE? Because thats what I always think in my head. Nah-lee seems...too much like the Lion King.

1. I thought that picture of Kate was Kristen Stewart for a second. Yeesh.

I pretty much only patronize Starbucks when I really need to pee before hoping on the brown line for the trek home. Your plan will backfire!

Oh man Jezebel...please don't ruin my favorite tumblr by blowing it up!

Some people just make things too literal, don't they? Also, what is that nose made of? Pie crust?

Honestly, I'd just take a star. Or a ring. I kid, I kid.

This makes me sad. I have no idea if I ever want to have children. I have always kind of figured I'd deal with that decision when I'm in my mid-late 30s and I'm ready to stop traveling/working as much/ seeing the world.

I am 24 years old and am mildly horrified anytime I'm in a grocery store with my father and there's a Cosmo around. I would prefer them to be covered up so as to avoid seeing the "HOW TO GIVE YOURSELF A BRAZILIAN WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY GIVING A BLOWJOB AND FINGERING A BUTTHOLE SO YOUR BOYFRIEND WILL PROPOSE ALREADY"…

It takes a specific personality to survive an LDR without a preset end date. There are many of those people out there. If you view a relationship as someone to spend time with on Saturday night, then you're probably going to get frustrated and give up. But if you are a fairly independent person who is content with…

The worst part about long distance relationships is other people's reactions to them. Most people know that it's not acceptable to just throw our your (negative) opinion on people's relationships. But when it's long distance, suddenly everyone decides they're an expert and it's totally fine for them to tell you how…

Maybe it's because my job requires fucking around on the internet and Facebook all day, but I personally wish there was a way I could block myself from accessing my personal account between 9-5 on weekdays. Sometimes when I open a new window, I automatically find myself typing in Facebook.com, not of my own volition.…

My cousin had just started dating this guy who was like, the most perfect guy. He was hilarious, sweet, and a dead ringer for Ryan Gosling (seriously, he was). His only downfall, he explained to us many times, was the fact that he often had night terrors, so he didn't like people to stay overnight. Now roommate was…

Jamiroquai. Duh.

I am very allergic to catfish. Minorly allergic to cats. (But not so allergic that I won't bury my face in their furry little tummies and squee...and then have red eyes after). Someone find me the comparison there.

There are at least six ways that sentence could have been taken, Dr. Ruth.

The shit she goes through to get ready for this runway show could have been an interesting article on it's own. Don't get me wrong, this is interesting, but maybe I'm just missing the sarcasm or something? I'm confident that all Jezebel writers could clearly understand the context of this quote. I think the point…

I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this because it would be all over my computer.