To be fair, my parents are obsessed with their cat, and I am positive that Scooter doesn't have a microchip.

I'm almost positive that some brands of birth control have different levels of hormones depending on the week. Not all of the non-placebos are created equal. I'm not sure if that's the case with these specific pills, but I"m guessing it was more complicated than just having the placebos in the wrong spot.

Blue or not, I want this. The bunny, fuck the flowers.

Excuse me to steal from your identity, but holy Facepalm.

By horrible I hope you mean the best holiday tradition ever?

Hearted. Fuck "'til death do us part" you're stuck with me for all eternity.

On an somehwat related note, one of my closest friends is in PR at Weinstein and was there. Friend told me how awkward this moment was. I could not be happier that it involved a jezzie!

I'm scared for her.

The tone of Dov worship induces great fear in me.

Jezebel! What are you doing! You're ruining my best kept secret! My mormon best friend forced me to buy one of these dresses for her wedding and it's my favorite go to site now.

Sorry I raped you, I was drunk!

I mean clearly you have to manhandle it a little bit. I'm talking start to finish hand jobs. An old fashioned if you will.

So does that mean if one of the kids has a friend who is 18 they can't legally hang out with them?

"It's unclear why Lacey would insist on this rule — or why Judge Charley Prine would agree to it." Because they're Texans?

Yawn.

I must be the only person in the world who is so over Zooey Deschanel. Besides maybe Katy Perry.

Maybe this is just me, but I've yet to meet a man (over the age of 15) who enjoys handjobs, much less one who wants them all day every day.

Three strikes you're out? Fuck me if they get more than one. Jesus.

Want.

I'm pretty sure it's a case by case situation. My ex used to freak out if I ever went near the balls. My current freaks out (in a good way) with a good squeeze.