To be honest, they're probably doing rape victims a favor. Can you imagine having to somehow prove that you were raped (because god damnit, we lie about this shit all the time! I LOVE to make up rape stories in my spare time!) in order to get an abortion? Because as I and countless others have firsthand experienced,…

As someone in the process of breaking up I would like to say to you scientists: DUH.

If Lassie doesn't win, the republicans DO win.

Get it girl!

Exquisite cat would like you to vote Tuxedo.

It is in fact real. It's a summer staple. AND it's on sale for $10! Go forth, young grasshopper.

I will now go home, put on my keyboard cat howl at the moon tshirt, and cry into a bottle of Charles Shaw.

I can't touch gluten. If I get to the end of a toilet paper or paper towel roll i have to have my roommate throw it away because I can't risk touching the glue. I can't make out with my boyfriend if he's been drinking beer. If you spill on me at a bar, I will have to immediately run home and shower/probably shoot…

This is how I discovered Keyboard Cat actually. Oh memories. I am livid.

If Keyboard cat loses in the first round, I will in fact quit Jezebel for good.

mmmm mac and cheese and the lorelais. That sounds wonderful.

Hey, you married a serial killer, so you should probably go to jail when they murder someone. It's only fair, you attracted a serial killer, so you're a bad person in the first place. Kthanksbye.

But seriously. Where's Shadow?

"I'm afraid I have to expel a rather ferocious hairball. You're on your own, girl."

I skimmed through her blog, as well as her second blog [www.modernalternativemama.com] which lists basically her life story, along with photos. This is definitely going to come back to her daughter at some point in time, poor thing. I know nothing about kids, except that I don't want any, thank you very much, but…

My guess is it will rotate. Little Jonny has the flu? That fucker's going down to #4.

I know we're all supposed to hate Jessica Simpson for being annoying or whatever...but I still think she is gorgeous.

This is actually why I voted tiger. I once woke up to an alley cat battle outside of my boyfriend's bedroom window, and it was the scariest thing I've ever heard. I was literally hiding under the covers.

I'm a republican! Stop trying to impede on me with your laws! Except you Laydees! I shall tell you what to do because you don't count!

I personally think Tiger has an unfair advantage to #winning right now.