I loved eating raw marshmallows as a kid, and continue to do so to this day. Countless people have told me this is weird or disgusting to eat them anywhere outside of the context of s’mores, and that this is akin to eating mayo out of the jar where most people are able to only enjoy it on a sandwich. I find this point…

Fuck those little packets of “hot” mustard. It’s trash. I want my mustard to feel like Messi kicked the back of my sinuses through my skull when I use it. Most of the time that shit is just straight up mustard.

“I’ve spoken with Native Americans across this great country. How many?

How many Super Bowls did he wine again?

Stop this. You stop this right now. +1

Goddammit +1

That’s a blanket statement I can agree with.

I gotta say, this interview is probably going to be a small pox on Theismann’s reputation.

“I’ve spoken with Native Americans across this great country. Two, in particular, really resonated with me. Their names were Tibia and Fibula from the Snapcreek Nation, and they just shattered me with their enthusiasm for the name. Absolutely cracked me up.”

THIS!? Coming from the same fucking guy who changed the pronunciation of his name so it would rhyme with Heisman.

All of you are going to make a comment about Theismann breaking his leg, but unlike you, I’m going to take the high road and say that Theismann is a fucking idiot.

Lord, he can’t go back there.

I could watch Vince Vaughn beating up fat guys all damn day.

We’re never going to get this team to fucking go away.

Hey Chris —

The pilot is going to get the pink slip.

And don't forget...