Imagine if Trump accepted the endorsement of an unemployed former ball-thrower who pilfered $75 million of public funds while running a perfectly good company into the ground. Sad!

Attacking during a piss break is pretty weak sauce. Wouldn’t expect any less from a classy outfit like Astana. Glad to hear Spartacus put some order back in the day.

1. Extra TP

There's no shame in being the fan of a perfectly average third-place team. There's always next year!

Fight me. Go Pirates.

Ukulele people, the answer is ukulele. The instrument that launched a thousand shitty hipster fake bands in the last five years. Ukuleles are played by groups of people who like the idea of a band but could never pull it off.

My shitty local band has sold more than 113 albums, come write 8000 words about us. This ‘profile’ of a dipshit billionaire buying his way into rock and roll fantasy camp is an egregious waste of precious internet column inches, sir.

Fuck this guy and his dad rock band. Stick to screwing up sports franchises and leave music to musicians.

Not really a late hit, main point of contact seems to be the chest, may have got his face a little bit. If Orpik’s hit was a 10/10 on a scale of shitty hits, this one is probably a 6.

Yeah but if you’re going along at high-speed where a pile-up could happen, you’re going to be in the 53. If you’re climbing in the 39 with the 53 exposed, I wouldn’t be too worried about a high-speed pile-up. No one really crashes while you’re climbing at 16k/h.

Why would you waste money on a retractable roof in San Di-fucking-ego?

Dude is on a stage full of legends, playing the song of a legend, and completely steals the show. He played the Tele tone perfectly too... damnit

Speaking of which MATTEAU MATTEAU MATTEAU

Zarley Zalapski

Ovie is a travesty on defense, the odd hit notwithstanding. He’s the best goal scorer of his era but far from the best all-around player. He might not even be the best player on his team next year if Kuznetsov continues his development. In any given year that’s either Toews or Crosby, and used to be Datsyuk and even…

For God’s sake people, it's spring, go outside and live your lives.

Yeah, a stage win in a big race (this race, the Vuelta al Pais Vasca is a big spring stage race for the climbers to stretch their legs) can make a career or at least a next contract for a rider like Diego Rosa. Taking a stage after such a long breakaway is quite the accomplishment and a pretty bold move. Mark…

Bunch of rioting thugs. Arrest them all.

Saganator! Been a big fan of his for years, last year’s Worlds and this year’s spring classics campaign should finally silence the doubters. It looks like he's perfecting the correct tactics for his insane skill set and I can't wait to see what happens next week at Roubaix next week and the rest of the season. Another…