I don’t see alcoholics running around blaming Jack Daniels for making whiskey.

You could always celebrate Yanksgiving in October, like everyone else.

A dog?

Paul is dead.

There are no sunglasses worth hundreds of dollars. It’s just some plastic.

It looked more like they were holding on to the door she was trying to close, and she pushed them away. You might have a right to film someone, but you don’t have the right to refuse to leave.

They make their pizza out of rice?

The statute of limitations on that has long run out.

Settle down, all the articles are free anyway.

I started just straight up blocking any account that promoted a tweet. I haven’t seen an ad in months, and it’s not like any of those were accounts I ever wanted to see anyway.

I take out the apostrophe because it’s the correct spelling in 2017, but more importantly I like to disassociate it from the Catholic cultural appropriation, and return it to its pre-christian roots.

And what security cameras have audio?

And as a policy matter, encouraging work, ingenuity, etc. makes everyone’s life better.

This is why you only buy stock phones.

Or just a declaration of the end of combat operations (except for all the shooting and blowing stuff up).

I don’t get rained on in my box.

That should be fairly easy to photocopy.

Some of us manage not to do that to sheets.

Presumably there’s a reason some people can only get a job at the Steak N Shake and others qualify for the steakhouse.

Prove who did it.