“I wonder how many 40lb curls I can knock out tonight!”?

The Obamas will say their farewells to the White House staff at 8:30 A.M Friday morning and will depart shortly thereafter. At 11:30 A.M., we will usher in a new era of...something.

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Bic Cristal pens are shit. They’re the ones we give out to the extras on set to fill out their paperwork because we know we won’t get them back.

I find this to be an unpopular opinion among my largely 35-50 year old friends, but goddam I love my e-reader and I don’t care who knows it. It has that nice e-ink thing so it looks just like a novel. I can carry a kajillion books in one tiny package. It remembers what page I was on. I needed a third book in a trilogy…

Nothing witty, I just hope he fucking dies.

Me on Jan 20th

welp he started talking about malia, sasha and michelle and then i started crying!!

me rn.

I don’t understand why he just doesn’t show his family records or even his band number. I’m American Indian on both sides of my family. Both of my parents have family records with the tribes they have membership with. I have records with the tribe I’m a member of. I have a certificate and tribal ID that confirms…

He’s likely going to be concerned.

It scares me nonnative people can come to my reservation, and other reservation, assault me, and my family, and they may not get persecuted for it. The FBI can decide to not go after the person and my court can do nothing about it.

Wasn’t me

“...it’s an astonishing admission—someone who actually wants to participate in Trump’s inauguration.”

When I first moved to Cambridge, MA. I ran into Malkovich at Cambridge Trust Bank. He was chatting with the teller. I nodded to him, he smiled and nodded back. He was dressed in white from head to toe. I just thought y’all should know.

John Malkovich can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned. He has been passionate about fashion for a long, long time, and while I don’t just adore all of these pieces, they show thought and understanding. Malkovich has a legitimate claim to design, and I’m happy to see him take it.

Does the sight of someone clicking their heels enrage anyone else, or is it just me? Those stupid pants also enrage me.

All I’m looking for is a Glass Menagerie trouser and I’m coming up empty.

I’m not saying we should level Vatican City, I’m just saying Rome could use the parking.

This reminds me of a talking caterpillar toy that belonged to my much younger sibling that me and my older sibling would play with because we were immature as hell. When you pushed the legs of the toy, they would each sound out a different letter of the alphabet. Being stupid pre-teens, my brother and I would always…