The nachos I ate for dinner were totally a feminist.

Huh.

I am eating watermelon. Like a giant bowl. Huge. I feel like that should be in the dirtbag, it is way more interesting than Audrina Patridge or Azealia banks tbh.

You are the greatest.

I wouldn’t even be so cheesed off

I want to marry Sourdough and then eat it. Sourdough is the only thing in life I love. Well, and cats. Sourdough cats.

Smart? Why do Women folk need to be smart? They have breasts!

Wait... How can you write and have a vagina at the same time? ARE YOU A WITCH?

YEAH, unless the troll is in India. In which case I have made a grave error in judgment and may Morgan Freeman have mercy on us all.

HEY! It is my troll! If I want to give it a snack I WILL.

The quality of their boners? IT’S COOL. I UNDERSTAND.

OF COURSE I AM NOT SERIOUS. Godddd, no one understands me AT ALL! *slams door, listens to the sex pistols*

I think you are forgetting a little known, HILARIOUS show called The Big Bang Theory.

ALSO, isn’t broadcasting cooties from the talky box a crime punishable by law? WHO WANTS TO TAKE THAT CHANCE?!

If I have learned anything from my years of being a lady it is this: Ladies are gross and have cooties. No circles or dots will cure this affliction.

I love that you got that reference! I was scared no one would!

I would skip all the other sections and go straight for revenge. YEAH, GREAT, YOU LIVE IN AN ASHRAM, WHATEVER but NOW tell me about setting all of his sneakers on fire in a bathtub.

A strong case of stockholm syndrome, other than that WHO KNOWS. Snacks? maybe he brings the snacks?

Goddamn it this is the SECOND TIME that I was reminded of Newt Gingrich’s existence this week! WHY. WHHHHHHY.

What is he doing with his voice?! WHY DOES IT SOUND LIKE THAT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM.