That is smart. Monopoly ruins lives. I stick with a nice stress free game of candy land. Or russian roulette.

Your boyfriend would frustrate me TO NO END. Then I would embezzle money from the bank as payback.

I agree with this so hard. PLUS, a person with a lot of tattoos is like art, you get to see something new every time you look at them. PLUS PLUS, guys with a lot of tattoos usually have excellent hair. That is just a fact.

Whhhhhhhhat. So he is totally a serial killer right?

He is pretty awesome. He is just also a supreme asshole. it is why I love him.

I read this as ‘No Rugrats’ and was like ‘what does that guy have against Tommy Pickles?!’

How close to the neck are we talking here? I like chest pieces.

Best looking father son duo ever? Yessss.

God, our dads must know each other. My dad was into torture too though. Like before he destroyed everyone he would turn us all against each other by making deals that would completely ruin one of us and we would blame the other for doing it in the first place. UGH, WHY.

1.) Devon Sawa is hilarious

PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND KNEE SLAPPINGLY HILARIOUS?

My parents used blood sacrifice, chanting and the burning of some vagrants body, but I guess whatever works for you.

Someday maybe I’ll go to jail for insider trading. THEN I’LL MAKE FRIENDS. Siiiiigh.

‘Oh, that is great! we are really happy for her and totally support her!’ Said every tech bro ever.

Holy crap! Was he excited? I mean, he got In n out so that is exciting in and of itself. I am so stoked for him. CONGRATS ON RAISING A VOTER!

*blinks rapidly and then tears my own eyes out*

#ImWithHerAgainstMyWillBecauseThereAreNoOtherViableOptions

Next time I go to the dmv that is what I will wear, I PROMISE.

‘Meryl Streep’s turn to smear Paprika all over her face and drop a dead ran-over guinea pig on top of her head to play Jabba the Trump’

I should have worn a Stars and Stripes bikini but it was 7 am and I figured it was too early. WHATEVER.