I love this comment. I love you. You are a treasure.

That is so good that is like a book a week! That is awesome.

I am so glad I am not the only one to describe people as dumpster fires.

That cat obviously wants me to squish him. and blow raspberries on his lil ginger belly. I know these things. I am a cat scientist.

That is a very handsome boy. I’m sorry he isn’t around anymore.

Yesss. Short hair FOREVER. Right now my hair is down to my shoulders and all I want to do is shave it off. It is just so thick and dense and HOT. But I want to grow it past my shoulders because it hasn’t been since I was like...9? BUT AFTER THAT, it is all going.

My dream vacation would could be one town over IF there is, an awesome swim anytime you want heated pool, a suppppper comfy bed, a big amazing bathroom, good food and TREES and GREEN. I live in the desert and I LOVE the desert but if it is a vacation? I was green things. I don’t really care where. I figure any place…

YES! introverts FOREVER.

OKAY GUYS, let’s do a few things!

Oh thank god. I mean I would rob a bank with you, REALLY I WOULD, but after I typed that I was like ‘Wait..do we have to like scope the bank and get like, blue prints? DO I HAVE TO GO TO A COUNTY OFFICE? FUCK THAT! This is a lot of work, plus we have to coordinate our robber outfits?! And I would want to bring my cat…

Didn’t get drafted...SO HIS DREAMS AND SPIRIT WERE CRUSHED? And then he picked himself up by the bootstraps and served his community? And these women (who were not even, you know, like credible soccer moms) took that from him? STOLE IT FROM HIM? WITH THEIR MONEY GRUBBING LIES?!

I like to think of false rape accusations as MY JOB. You know? I don’t get health insurance but I am hoping to form a union and change that. Before I was just a welfare queen, with my expensive car and endless supply of luxury but NOW? Just gotta accuse someone of rape and the money starts ROLLING IN. It is hard but…

I WOULD TOTALLY BE YOUR FRIEND! You are such a precious pretty pony. Let’s be best friends. AND BY BEST FRIEND I MEAN ROB BANKS TOGETHER! Too far? Not far enough? Let me know.

Wait, HOLD ON, why didn’t this article mention he was an all star football player? I’VE CHANGED MY MIND. It is obvious this guy didn’t do it because, football. And like, potential! AND FOOTBALL!

He is pretty much like ‘I couldn’t have raped these women, they are not even really human!’ Yes...THAT IS what a rapist would say.

I know when I am running low on money I just find a random dude in public, point and him, scream rape and wait for donations to come in. It is like pan handling only OBVIOUSLY it is a way bigger pay day. Like...i dunno...WINNING THE LOTTERY!

This is not a woman that’s, you know, a soccer mom or someone that’s credible in society.

Thanks for this. You didn’t screw up. I am really hard on myself and my expectations of myself are very unrealistic. I don’t think mentally ill people are worthless or unworthy, I want you to know that. I think mentally ill people are just as worthy and a person not mentally ill, MAYBE MORE SO, because I notice…

But what if your best friend, who is a male, is better in social situations and loves a good party but your romantic partner is shy and reserved is is the type who wants to go home and not dance/drink/party? It makes sense to ask your best male friend because that is how you will have the best time and it is an…

All I am hearing is that you want to be my bff. FINE.