That might be the worst Zach Braff of them all. Zach braff renders me FOREVER UN MOIST.

Yesss, I love terrible jokes. I love you. ALL OF THE STARS.

I am not a Fan of Dax Shepard BUT I WILL DEFEND HIM TO THE DEATH against the terrible accusation that he looks like ZACH BRAFF. Zach Braff with his stupid goddamn smug face that you just want to punch to death. That son of a bitch.

I don’t know. Like, she knew about it, he informed her and it is his body so it seems pretty reasonable.

I was just looking at the California climate classification map and it is SO weird to think that over half the state is some kind of Mediterranean climate.

BUT THE CEMENT IS SO HOT. Ughhh.

I do actually live in one of those cities. Well... like an adjacent city, I live in the high desert. BUT ALSO, palm springs? Indio? The low desert is still desert.

Oh goody, now I can watch people water their green lawns that they planted IN THE GODDAMN DESERT. THE MOJAVE DESERT. GREEN LAWNS. THAT IS A PROBLEM.

I really liked him on Buffy! I should re-watch buffy. WHO WANTS TO WATCH BUFFY WITH ME?!

Now I have fallen down a rabbit hole.

My mom dated a guy in high school named stinky!

HAHA, that is what THEY want you to believe.

I was totally thinking ‘He seems way more like a Mussolini to me.

Reincarnation is a helluva thing.

Still unconvinced Ted Cruz isn’t the Zodiac Killer.

First your husband is beautiful and now you want my Jason Momoa?!

Mmm. Jason Momoa. How can one human be so fucking beautiful?

accidentally reactivated facebook for one second and puked.

Well, I’ll go swallow cyanide now.

I refuse to believe Scott Disick is a real person. Cyborg? Alien? Sentient pile of used tampons and banana peels? I DON’T KNOW, but not human!