I say we just steal the Canadian national anthem and replace Canada with America

Make up your damn minds people. I can only cancel/uncancel this Papa John’s order so many times.

People don’t buy you drinks with a “Then I turned on the compressor” story.

I was in Milwaukee for a work thing a few years ago, and every morning, we’d sit around this huge boardroom table and all the fat motherfuckers would have like 3 diet cokes in front of them, and us west coast guys had coffee.

Bledsoe may hate it there, but at least it’s a dry hate.

Maybe he’s just been referring to himself as “Obama” all this time and none of us has caught on?

Huh. So that’s what it looks like when a ziplock bag of mayonnaise hits an approach shot.

-There are people who really think 73 isn’t the number? That’s moronic. Did he hit 73 home runs in a full season? Yes. Did he do it with steroids help? Yes, but so the fuck what? Everyone (including the pitchers!) used steroids. Unless opposing pitchers were being paid under the table to inflate his HR numbers, the 73…

He didn’t bring his wallet but fortunately he had a couple singles.

‘Get me Jon Gruden!’

So the Red Sox are still stealing signs then?

Stillman: Gen Z loves references. Remember I’m On A Boat?

The Next Matt Stares

ever notice how much Stafford looks like the kid that sees dead people?

This is an excellent example of why most men are prehistoric cavemen whose brains haven’t developed since the Stone Age. He’s one of the reasons women have to be wary of getting harrassed every single day because of pieces of shit like this guy. He’s one of the reasons why I’m ashamed to be a man because of guys like…

He got it from his mom, Ilene Bolt.

Jonah Muniz, Mabel Gondres, and Lorrie Pearson discuss their findings with local authorities.

So those Brazilian soccer players in the shower were providing DNA samples for testing?

Damn TIPS jar is really confusing!

This is proof that even at 44 years old, Jamal can still pound the pigskin.