I don’t swear often, but what the fuck is wrong with people?

yeah but it’s cheap

I’ve never even heard of Detroit style pizza, so obviously it can’t be the best.

obligatory

or seatbelts, apparently.

Rather than activist investors trying to steer an oil company into something else, why don’t activist investors just divest from fossil fuel companies and start investing their money elsewhere?

oH lOoK aNoThEr TeSlA hIt PiEcE fRoM jAlOpNiK!

Photo taken in the millisecond before catastrophic failure registers for the driver.

Can we get CGI Robert Redford and Paul Newman to do this movie as the heroes?

“Ferrarli Davidson”

“We’ve redefined our core competency to be a lifestyle brand supporting a racing team.”

“Signore, per favore smettila di pisciare su quella scrivania. Dov’è la sicurezza?”

yes, drug test is mandatory. Obviously they need to confirm that you can handle your coke.

pssht, only suckers fill out an application for CEO jobs. The pros know that you just have to casually and publicly drop hints that you might be interested, and then wait for them to come to you. But don’t call them back right away, it makes you seem desperate.

I assume the Ferrari hiring manager is a Jalopnik regular.

Hey Ferrari, I’m available, give me a call.

#StonksChrono

To the second question, no matter where I’ve bought a car, I’ve only ever paid sales tax for the state I’m registering it in. I’ve had to hold a dealer’s hand through this on a couple occasions, but it’s always worked out.

“Who the fuck is paying $75k for a car that I couldn’t unload for any price 20 years ago?”

I think this is clear enough proof that evolution is not necessarily progressive.