I used to fix prolapsed monkey rectums when I worked at a primate breeding facility.

"I used to fix prolapsed monkey rectums when I worked at a primate breeding facility."

Sheesh, go get a cuppa joe and take off the cranky pants. You know who doesn't sound charming? You.

This is the perfect article for this ad.

The really great thing about being an "old woman" is I have money now, and I don't have to shop in H&M anymore.

my dad doing very dad-like dancing with my mom.

That first photo looks like it should be on the cover of a text book. 'Science is Fun!' ... your dad sounds like a boss.

If she was older, I'm sure she'd post here. But until then, I'll just do it myself :)

Your dad is the only hipster I like! He was a hipster before it was cool.

My dad could have kicked all your dads asses (no offense and quite possibility not true)

A sign of a true dad- smiling through a photo despite clearly being strangled by tiny hands.

My dad is the coolest guy I know. Here he is with my beautiful mother sometime in the mid-1970s.

Here is my dad in his prime chest hair age enjoying a sub-zero football game. While his partying lifestyle did sometimes cause issues with the family, he has always been there for me no matter what.

While my mom was getting dressed for church on Easter Sunday, my dad took me, in my white Easter dress, out to the blackberry bush in our back yard and let me pick and eat as much as I wanted. This is what I looked like when he brought me back.

my dad (bass player) was a punk rock shithead in college aka what everyone dude in brooklyn now strives for. he told me he once tried meth to study for a test. he's pretty much the coolest person i will ever meet. i'm not with him today but he told me him and my brother are stoned as fuck chilling out. i wish i was…

And here is my take as a man to men who claim misandry....

This is why women give out fake phone numbers, when asked for her number. #YesAllWomen

It is entirely possible that she did go to the police but was told, like many families, that her daughter just "ran away" and was not abducted. They would look for her, but passively. Remember that 4 year old who was abducted and murdered (I think it was in Chicago!?!?!? somewhere like that) and the cops told her…