Look, it’s like they always say - you can’t have your birthday cake and jump out of it in an Easter bunny costume wearing a lace-thong, basketball sneakers, and Chanel #16 ‘sandal’, without getting skin treatment for contact flour dermatitis, footing a hefty dry-cleaning bill for the whole lot of it, just to realize…

That shirt looks like a wintergreen candy stick from 1906.

You do know some of your readers are Deaf right? Not all of us can just “go over and listen” to your shitty ass podcast.

The Simmons-ing of Magary continues unabated. Next, a YouTube channel where he sits on his couch at home, interviewing Charles B. Pierce or perhaps Matt Moore, while Tom Ley throws in wisecracks while clutching a selfie-stick.

You look like Tom Ley and Parker Lewis had a child. And beat it.

Buddy you’re on a Gawker site. Minorities can do no wrong and cops are all criminals. Best quit while you’re ahead.

And the majority of people believe all cops are horrible human beings. Some are. Some are not.

#BlackLegsMatter

“yes...we also blame the NYPD.”
-New York Knicks.

When the cops tell you to back away 6 times, it’s probably a good idea to back away any of the first 5 opportunities they gave you.

Per the official MLB 2015 rulebook:

Playoff hockey is the best sports postseason there is.

The Central bracket-quadrant really is brutal. It’s a shame that two of STL/Minn and Nashville/Chicago have to go home, while the boring-ass Canucks (probably) get to play on.

Seeing as how you’re a robot, I’m not going to hold this against you.

Never leave me.

Obviously the cat has walked across your keyboard again?

They’re based in Cleveland.

I don’t get it.

‘Most Valuable Patternbaldness’

Fans are wonderful.