I actually know a lot of deeply religious people who support reproductive rights and struggle with reconciling their faith and their political/social beliefs. I think they are absolutely capable of intelligent discourse and have witnessed it many times.

Hahaha. All yours, girl! That's what makes the world go 'round!

...had been caught masturbating, had engaged in a verbal altercation with another passenger...

All I know about raccoon dogs—tanukis—are that their balls are ENORMOUS. Because Tom Robbins.

It's a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, covered in smegma.

Or it was Reddit ;)

Every cop should wear a camera and anytime they turn it off there better be a damn good reason.

WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE THE SAME AS A PANIC ATTACK. I'm basically having a panic attack because reading this is convincing me that I've actually been having a heart attack for the past six months.

I WAS OBJECTIFYING HIM WHEN HE WAS STILL CHUNKY. YOU'RE ALL LATE TO THE GAME, POSEURS!

All I can see is Apocalypse Now Marlon Brando. I want to unsee it and get back to Guys and Dolls Brando, but I can't.

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's a parade.

BAM. All the stars to you today Tracy, all the stars!!

We've always used the proper terms with our kiddo (I'm a biologist, I'm not going to call it a wee-wee or a hoo-haa or whatever). She was then told by other kids she was saying "bad words." Her teacher started to tell her not to say those and she proudly said "My mommy says those are the right words and not to use…

I REJECT YOUR INTERSECTIONALITY OF THE DEADSPIN AND JALOPNIK COMMENTARIAT! BAD FoURTH WAVER, BAD!

Totally. Plus I have actually thought before that Leo is legit turning into Jack Nicholson. He'll be the older man who lost his sex appeal and still wants to hang out and party with the pretty young things till well past it's reaches it's creepiest of creeps.

He knows it!

I was thinking more Orsen Wells.

YES!!! With the model fucking, and the general not giving any fucks, and that glare, he's officially this generation's Jack Nicholson. There are worse things to be.

That was a truly inspiring segment. I love it that Oliver's calls to action are getting such great responses. Is the "John Oliver Bounce" the new "Colbert Bump"?

Am I the only one who finds the warning signs of a heart attack maddeningly vague? Every time my chest feels sore, it's like I'm rolling the dice; is this just a random sore muscle, or do I go to the clinic? Is it serious, or do I waste the doctor's time for nothing?