Damn, and the dog is even black. :(

That is one cute kid. Smiling in the emergency room like a pro. I am impressed, little Simmons!

I thought it was John Stamos at first!

This post deserves some Idris Elba laughter.

Sorry, Baldwins, we're at capacity.

I was going to say, that can't be an actual tweet from Unintentionally Hilarious Baldwin, as it includes zero yoga references or absurdly staged poses.

Oo, BURN.

If your password is Blink182 you deserve worse than being hacked.

In the alternate universe where she survives to old age, I imagine her having Betty White's job.

I really wish she got a bit more credit for having intellectual curiosity.

Yeah... honestly that is a fair questions. I wear the smallest size clothes in any adult store. I am fairly thin, but I'm also 5'7. What about little 5'0 or 5'1 girls who are proportionally as thin or thinner than I am? They must have the time from Hell finding clothes at all.

"My favorite rapper is Eminem," Cornish said. "But my music collection goes from classical to jazz to blues. My favorite era is the sixties and seventies. I have a very eclectic taste in music."

Igloo Australia, Jr.

I personally know a woman who carries a loaded firearm in her diaper bag for protection and refuses to see the irony of the statistics she is looking at...

Poor Jeremy. It's probably because he finally realized that he loves me. Took him long enough.

Putting this out here:

ok hold the fucking phone

this has to be photoshopped

Dear baby Jesus:

They should write a new version of the Oklahoma! song and replace the lyrics with these Google searches because this is amazing.