I think the responders here missed your joke? I wonder how many others did.

Did you actually comb through both paragraphs trying to identify plagiarized text?

You might waste less time in your day by hiring an irony-detection consultant. Just a suggestion.

“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and kill a hooker and I wouldn’t lose any voters.” — Donald Trump

Whenever a comment starts with “Oooh” I pay extra-careful attention to it. That’s because the “Oooh” sound signifies an important discovery, so any comment that begins that way will probably contain something profound.

The “T” stands for “trolling everyone with this stupid comment.”

I’ve actually considered this possibility. Or, that they may have just returned the puppy to the breeder — and said they “got rid of it” or something, and my friend and I misunderstood what they meant?

When I was around 11 years old, I broke a very valuable antique vase at a friend’s house, and my friend and I decided to blame it on the new puppy his family had just gotten a few months before. We told his parents that the puppy had run into the room and knocked over the table, breaking the vase.

Because she got more votes than Bernie did. That’s how democracy works.

“I voted for him because I felt that he would do an absolutely terrible job and would alienate the republican base so badly that it had no choice but to face facts and accept that conservative economic models do not help them.”

For Your Consideration ...

Cottage cheese and apple butter.

Really, I think this is “ground zero” for the whole “haunting covers” trend. It all traces back to Donnie D.

This is the TRUE “godfather” of all haunting covers used in films. (Not technically in the trailer, though).

The most telling piece of evidence is in the very first photo above: He has no defined sideburns at all.

It’s amazing that you found some motion-picture footage of that forgotten Chicago team, and that it survived all of these years!

Trump just called on China to invade North Korea.

Trump just called on China to invade North Korea.

People are joking about the cocaine thing, but ... I’m beginning to think Trump may actually be wired on coke right now. He sure sounds like it.

Why is trump sniffing so much? He sounds like he snorted coke just before he walked out on stage.

Swimming World suggested the possibility in an opinion piece about Hasszu and promptly got sued by her for libel. Sports news outlets are running scared on this topic.