You could have just said no instead of posting my heartfelt missive on the internet.

You do not use “Lagavulin” and “shitty” in the same post. Lagavulin is the nectar of the gods. Here, sit with me and Ron and we’ll help you out.

Wait until they learn herbal supplements are made of “Chemicals”

It’s an irony that the people most likely to distrust big Pharma for being part of a multi-billion dollar industry are the ones most likely to trust sellers of herbal supplements, who are part of a multi-billion dollar industry with no controls on it.

I’m pretty sure Gigli was already released. And no one watched it.

I love how tweet beat almost always features Dr. NDeGT’s tweets. He is on my dream team of the imaginary cabal I have constructed in my mind as the ruling body of these united states. Which would be in no particular order;

UM, “could you be a peach” sounds SUPER condescending, and the choice to use it on DAY TWO of a new job with your BOSS is just ... that’s incredibly bad judgment.

Spending $400 on a leather jacket- not cool.

She could have, and nearly did, cause her own child to die. Over a spider. But, yeah, go easy on her.

Sure, but does your phobia cause you to place your child and the public in immediate danger?

Little Miss Angela
Sat in her Hyundai Sonata
Eating her curds & whey
Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her
And revealed her nine-year-old as the actual adult in the room

I am a Sagittarius with social anxiety. Engage with caution.

The soup of the day is usually Hitler miss, but I’m sure you’ll just Goebbels up today’s gestapo soup.

Let’s all go and see Jennifer Lopez in Vegas

Expresso.

expresso tequila

I AM CRYING MARK OMG OKAY BRB LEMME FINISH