Coulda ended worse...

This sounds like some Harry Potter bullshit.

I was hoping this would be about Kim deleting her account.

grandma is a bitch and i hope she died soon thereafter.

One time on a flight, the baby belonging to the couple seated beside me decided that I was an enemy that needed to be outed and destroyed. This baby, which I had never seen before, gave me a death glare and began reaching over to slap me with its fat little sausage arm. The parents were surprised and mortified. They…

He was offended by your husband. That is goddamn nerve.

A 3-hour flight on Valentine’s Day a few years ago: Flight attendants rearranged a row of passengers near me to accommodate one woman’s giant stuffed teddy bear. Upon takeoff, I look over and there is the teddy bear, strapped in with a seat belt, enjoying a ginger ale.

I’m laughing so hard at this I’m sorry. “Sammy,I’m coming home!”

Mr Tooty gets on a flight, dressed in business attire. Sits on the aisle. Directly across in the aisle seat a man sits. As the flight takes off, he takes his shoes off and proceeds to pick dead skin off his feet. Grossed out beyond belief, mr Tooty asks a flight attendant if he can move to an empty seat. He gathers…

I am a bit phobic about air travel. I’m the spazzy person who white knuckles the arm rest and goes into meditative breathing anytime the captain mentions it’s time to buckle up because we have some turbulence ahead. But twice now I have been seated next to the only person on the plane who was more afraid to fly than I…

Not gross or anything. But on our way back from OUR HONEYMOON, my wife and I (flying coach because poor and saving the money for once we got to Vegas!), this guy is one of the last to board and sighed/groaned a lot at us because he would have to sit next to my wife and I, on sight. My wife is, yes, overweight, but can…

My boob.

The Worst Thing You’ve Ever Seen on an Airplane...

I spent a seven hour flight stuck next to a cruise ship magician who was like Gob from arrested development but without the suave charm goodness of heart. He negged me constantly and kept mentioning that his “hot Lebanese wife” told him to go out and have sex with anyone he wanted because she as six months pregnant…

I mean I can’t think about this story without laughing but I imagine others on the plane thought it was awful.

There was this adorable little pigtailed girl who was I feel like around 4 years old...? The plane takes off, and like she looks really nervous all of the sudden and her parents are comforting her and telling…

Am I the only one who wants a TON of ambient sound in a public bathroom? I don’t wanna hear a grown man coach his way through a poop. I vote for music in every public bathroom. LOUD music. Who’s with me?

How early is too early to drink?

Seeking to preempt the Chopped gif this week I see.

Drew,

But I still keep 5 p.m. as the standard: That’s the little magical barrier I put up to convince myself that I am NOT an alcoholic.