Bear Grylls is the Dane Cook of survival experts.

This shit just happened to me at KFC... Two weeks ago I walk in because the drive thru is out of the question. I asked for the 12 pc special (it’s about 7:30 Saturday night with one car in the drive thru and another customer in the lobby).

Many years back I had a guy come up to me in a parking lot and try the “I need money for gas so I can get home.” bit. I was totally oblivious and offered to buy him a full tank at the gas station that I knew was just down the street. (this was back when gas was a buck a gallon.) He tried to shuffle it off by saying…

I also worked at a Subway (so glad to hear these are your favorite stories). My story is short but fucked up: I worked there when I was 16, and was often left alone. This was in a small New England town before the present heroin/pill epidemic became a problem. so that was really no big deal, plus my parents lived a 10…

Once, someone was ordering a LARGE number of coffees or something for their office. Something like $200, and it was going to take a while. I offered to make them a free drink, since they were nice and being patient and stuff like that. BIG MISTAKE, as they took a deep breath, and starting going down the “venti…

I was trying to explain to my English husband about what Friendly’s was- basically a place with rocking grilled cheese sandwiches and ALL THE ICE CREAM YOU COULD EVER WANT in a variety of forms. LOVE Friendly’s.

The coffee story... It fucking amazes me how often people expect ridiculous shit for free. You have to have the imagination and expectations of a young child to read “free small coffee” and think “free complicated coffee based drink.”

The 3 year-old boy was standing on his chair, pants down around his ankles, peeing. Directly into a cup. Grandma is seated next to him holding said cup.

Too bad, I was really enjoying my coffee mugs full of redpiller, neckbeard Reddit tears. I do appreciate Altman addressing the sexist (and worse) remarks towards and about Pao, but knowing Reddit, it’ll stay the same it always has been.

Back in high school, me and my girlfriend at the time had been dating for about four months. At the time, there was a kid who sat on the same bus as me and her, and had supposedly been infatuated with her since before me and her started dating.

But who is more insufferable!? That’s a helluva tournament...

There's a reason MRAs are called "the abuser's lobby."

kinda a weird way to spell penis, but sure.

But don’t you know? Children (like women!) exist as rewards for adult men who have “earned” their time and affection, and not as beings unto themselves with needs and desires and agency!

I’m a family law attorney, and my office has been up in arms about this all week.

I hate all these celebrity paternity stories (this one, the constant rumors about Khloe Kardashian, etc.). Regardless of the DNA test, Bill Clinton is her father. That’s how parenthood works. Biological origins are useful for medical histories, and that’s about it; they are certainly of no use to the public. All of…

Prediction: Hamm will be married to a much younger woman, and become a father within a couple of years.