I think *some* expensive things are worth it, but that is noooooot one of them. I freaking adore Algenist Anti-Aging Repairing oil, which is like $80, But a bottle will last me nearly a year, and it’s in an opaque container with a dropper, not a stupid-ass jar that’ll let all the product oxidize and break down and get…

I am not the only person who binges on salami and cheese at night. #solidarity

Orrrrrrr, buy something that isn’t a $150 jar of literally vaseline and seaweed?

Am I the only one who is sad that this just proves even George Clooney has to starve himself to look good? I’ve determined fame and wealth aren’t worth it if I have to give up pizza. NEVER!!!

HAHAHAHAH Yes! Those poor millionaire producers!! Let’s laugh at them while they count their Smurfs money.

Ugh...Mr. Bubble? I can just feel myself getting a UTI looking at it. When I was a kid, it was no bueno...like putting Tide in the tub.

See, this is why this response is beautiful. It doesn't take rapier wit but does take the wind right out of peoples' sails. It means you can expend energy on other things, like talking to loved ones, or zorbing.

Trust me it didn't . He was joking, it was fine and they are unbelievably close.

She sounds like a lovely lady. I am reminded of a story about my mother. I brought a high school friend over, who was recovering from a recent sports injury, and had been prescribed codeine. She was quite a talker on an ordinary day, and of course my mother listened politely to her medication induced rambling. My…

Jocks don’t come with different cups and waist sizes; they’re just small, medium, large, etc. Everyone knew he was making a brag joke...

I wish I could flag this comment for being so lame.

I don't consider this a great one, because it's just to keep in your back pocket for when the relevant conversation comes up, but:

This just made me remember a great one from a friend of mine at an appointment with a student health doctor. Her name’s Kate, but for some reason this guy called her Katie. Then when she corrected him, he got a little pissy about it and said something like “Eh, what’s the difference?” She looked at his name tag, which…

Second time a Middle Eastern Jew won Easter since Jesus!

I was sleeping over at my cousin’s house when we were both 16 or so. We were always close growing up so our girls’ night sleepovers were some of the best times for us.

I’m a very tall lady — 6’2” to be exact. As such, I’ve attracted my share of insecure men who haaaaate it that I am taller than them and aren’t shy about letting me know it.

So there was this guy who would always sexually harass me on my way home from work. I’d get off the train and walk by this auto repair shop. This motherfucker didn’t even work at the shop — the shop owner described him as a “parasite” who loitered outside of the shop trying to buy up junkers and always hollering at…

From The Olden Days, when I was young and hot: a woman my mother had taken some classes with accosted me at the coffee shop where I hung (this was in the ‘80s, when coffee shops were a bit more real). On a good day, this woman looked like a melted toad who’d been finger painted by especially cruel and talentless…

A friend of mine used to routinely get dick picks in college. Unsolicited and unwanted. So she started saving them, and every time she got one, she’d send a DIFFERENT dick pic back. The guys would always be horrified and say something like “I wasn’t expecting that/didn’t want that” and she’d always respond with “Yea,…

I’ve told this story before, but here it goes again.