lets all write all of our comments as letters to colin

i mean

Thank you for enforcing my decision to unsubscribe from Jezebel.

I thought you were leaving forever. Stop coming back to tell us you're going. Get gone.

LOL. K, we'll see you again when you make the same comment on a Jez post two weeks from now.

Thank you for enforcing my decision to unsubscribe from Jezebel.

The guy on the corner screaming about the Venusians coming to take over is passionate too. Doesn't mean I should start prepping for the invasion.

What does this mean, to "unsubscribe" in this context?

Don't let your wrist get cramped from clutching those pearls so hard.

At least she is passionate.

Of all the places to pick your battle with Jezebel, this has got to be the LAST one I'd have expected anyone to choose.

I had a friend who was absolutely certain that his devoutly Catholic parents did not have premarital sex, he was just born very premature. His parents were married at the beginning of the same month he was born in. He was quite indignantly sure he was just a miracle baby who survived being born at 4 weeks gestation,…

"Readers of my blog know," she writes in the book, "that the next time you lick vanilla ice cream from a cone, there's a good chance you'll be swirling secretions from a beaver's anal glands around in your mouth."

The guy I dated in high school/early college had a sister who was about 10 years older, and had gotten whoopsie pregnant with a jerkweed she was just screwing around with and not intending to have a serious relationship with. Their folks were hard core fundie Christian, and so their dad had a nice talk with that young…

My mom calls that Dickmatized I too suffered from it from mid teens until mid 20's. Oh to be 19 again…dumb as a bag of hair hornier than a bag of full grown mountain goats.

Yep. He was a pretty huge liar, I found out later. His story was that they were locked into the lease and he didn't want to screw her over so he slept in the spare room. Plus, he stayed over at my place pretty regularly and she never seemed weird about it so naive 19 year old me was like "wow they are so chill and…

Once, in a fit of drunken derring-do, at the height of Riverdance mania, I convinced an entire bar in France that I was an accomplished Irish step dancer. I've never taken a lesson in my life.

None of my family knows that I'm an atheist. I'd rather they find out I'm bi or that I've been hiding a mental illness from them for the past ten or so years. I even had a Christian wedding to marry my also-atheist husband.

I was in my early 20's and seriously lacking in the judgment department. I spent the night at a friend's party drinking beer and getting high. Around 4am, I decided that I wanted to go home, and that I was sober enough to drive my car home the 3/4 of a mile to my house on residential roads. When I was at the final…

I SAID THAT I WAS AT THE BERLIN WALL THE NIGHT IT FELL DOWN, THAT I WAS MUGGED, AND THEN I MET THE POPE, AND THEN I SAVED EVERYONE FROM IMMINENT DOOM IN THE SECOND, THIRD, AND FIFTH IRAQI WARS.