Idk about atheist and feminist, but you’re definitely a troll.

I have zero words but all of the rage

Texas: Where we care until birth, then fuck you.

Needed to share this

If you can decorate, you can be minister of interior .

“Who’s there?”

If it’s a true dad joke, then it’s “Hu’s there?”

That has got to be the most boring account of an“alien encounter” I’ve ever read. There’s no way there could be any rational explanation for that at all, nope.

Did he try saying “Who’s there?” I feel like we might be missing out on some potential Alien Dad Humor.

Can I stay at your place for a while?

We still have Germany!

Sounds like Canada just found its next Prime Minister.

The same people you hear that refrain from, “because this is where we’ve always lived and why should we move or do something so that we can make money, they just need to bring the jobs back” are the same ones who say people in countries with famine and drought should just up and move someplace else.

I seriously don’t know how to fight something like this.

My holiday card this year says “Happy Holidays” in ten different languages and I’m giving them to all my miserable Republican neighbors along with $25 donated to “liberal” causes in their names.

I want to have whirlwind romance with her where it ends in a knife fight on top of a skyscraper.

It’s a special snowflake version of “Tommy.”

War is peace

The police have been instructed to take him alive, so Slappers Only!

I find them (him mostly) more annoying than that piece of skin next to your nail that you pull and then end up bleeding on your white jeans. I am 0% surprised they belong to an organization like this.