As Schumer goes, so goes the ...

Correct. Beyond greed and lust, he also experiences greedlust, lustgreed, greed^3 + 2 lust, lust * exp(greed), and “that thing you call it when the fungus takes over your bodily functions for a couple minutes.”

Just to make myself crazy, I mentally insert “self-professed Christian” in front of Sessions’s name in every headline.

That’s just what the spirochetes want.

Let’s really watch this video.

Should probably also add “spirochetes” to that list.

You’re in good company. Armando Iannucci floated the same idea a couple of days ago. Great minds, and so on.

Sure, he’s an amoral monster, but at least we cut taxes for rich people and spend more on bombs now.

(looks at header image) Paul Rudd has really let himself go.

Be seeing you!

I’m going with “Sarah Silverman plus a 3-year meth habit.”

Schoolkids armed with hammers are not effective combatants? “The Raid 2" would like to disagree.

Re. the header image:

I was going with “Gudetama barf,” but OK.

It speaks to his character that he doesn’t even have a Blondi to poison.

The header image looks like an ant-size Trump is being tracked by a child with a magnifying glass.

Sweater / dress shirt is super trad and A-OK.

I apologize for the necessity of relaying this objectively true judgment of your terrible lifestyle, and assure you that the universal opprobrium you experience can be easily avoided by carrying your backpack with your hand like a self-respecting adult.

Re. that header image: Which is more of a turnoff, a guy who wears a sweatshirt over a dress shirt or one who wears a backpack on top of a suit jacket?

Tim Curry has really let himself go.