Trump: “Who the hell wants to talk about politics when I’m in front of the boy scouts?”
Audience: ::Polite indifference::
Trump: “Everybody, you say? Well gosh, I haven’t told the Clinton story since 8 minutes ago. Let’s start there!”

I’m a moderate smoker. While I certainly wouldn’t say I am happy to be addicted to cigarettes, I don’t really have big regrets. Neither do most of my friends/family members that smoke I don’t think. I know it’s not a healthy habit, but I thoroughly enjoy smoking, and as an adult I make the choice to continue doing…

We are fine with sending teens out to war to handle weapons and well armed enemies. We allow teens to vote in elections, helping to decide the most powerful office on the planet. But God forbid they have a smoke, that’s a bridge too far.

I bake sourdough bread and it is a three day process, so this was an interesting read. I would never try to replace my yeast though. With sourdough you use a start, so you feed the yeast and it rises and triples. You use one part and keep another- so theoretically the part you keep is really old. Supposedly, mine is…

Sheen’s dealer?

Fuck this committee.

Death Panels!

This is the most cynical shit in the world. These are people who want to rob American citizens of affordable healthcare and who desperately want to block entry into the country of brown immigrants, and now they’re bending over backwards to offer false hope to the white, foreign parents of a white, foreign baby who…

I wish they would just straight up call this the “White People Yes, All Other People No” bill.

“Mindy Kaling isn’t even revealing the identity of the man who got her pregnant to her closest friends.”

I feel you. Cotton lets your southies breathe. Fruits of the Loom forevs!

I was going to bet they were like some cheap six pair for $4.50 sort of deal.

Ew. Team Madge.

“When Prophet Muhammad (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) was travelling on the road with his cousin, Al-Fadl ibn Abbas, a woman stopped him to ask him a question. The woman was very beautiful, and Al-Fadl couldn’t help but stare at her.”*

Oh yeah, there’s THAT, too. Hope they put that in the tourism brochure!

Not sure what i’m expected to do. I don’t live in a city with public transportation. Should I pick my kids up from daycare on a bike? Should I bike 30 miles to work and back everyday? Drilling for US oil is also unacceptable so what do you suggest? Flying cars?

I don’t care what I am able to wear there. Since they are still beheading atheists, I’ll keep my distance.

Tell me more about your petroleum-free lifestyle. I’m intrigued.

Oh, and I said this in another spot, but trust that Justine would be livid about the difference in narratives about a blonde white lady victim vs. a black man victim. If she had more melanin, I reckon she’d be getting called an immigrant in the first line of most of these stories.

More Justine fun facts:
She referred to herself as “Juzzy Wuzzy” (her maiden name is/was Rusczyk) whenever she was talking about “woo woo” stuff.