The idea of 25 guys in one night makes me want to sit in a tub of ice as I careen off a cliff to end it all. But hey, more power to her as long as it was consensual.

I wonder if any famous musicians are reading this, nervously feeling like they’re listening in on a slumber party

remember: we are supposed to hate our bodies, especially the sexy bits. otherwise, how does patriarchy?

Squinting at the original column. I guess one reason I’m not an advice columnist is that I’d immediately tell her to get an abortion. You get an abortion, you get an abortion, everybody gets an abortion! [insert Oprah gif] First, abortion. Then, STD treatment. And finally an examination of one’s life and one’s choices.

Kevlar Vagina would make an excellent band name.

roast beef curtain

Part of me is guessing that this is a fake question sent into “ask Amy.” Or this women has a kevlar vagina.

I have to imagine that sex with David Byrne is utter performance art. Like, giant puppets and beds that fly apart and become a city skyline while taiko drummers perform in the next room.

Enjoy it while it lasts, kid. Being a smart kid is hell as an adult. People have so many expectations for you, so many goals, so many AP classes. You have so much promise as a young thing, so bright and clever, and suddenly you look around and you’re sitting in your pajamas, watching Netflix, doing nothing with your…

Me (to my 2 year old): “you’re wonderful”

Never fuck around with a cereal-eating Enya-listening baby-thief!

This one is dated, and doesn’t technically involve the musician, but I’ll share. Also, I’m not sure if it is true, but considering my aunts love to tell the story when they’re drunk, and my mother gets all huffy while not explicitly calling it a lie, I believe it. My mom and two of her sisters came to the US (she’s…

I would give my left tit to hear stories from regular dudes who banged, like, Nina Simone back in the day.

Imma come back in an hour after more people have gotten a chance to comment

She was trying to fill her monogrammed thermos.

What fraternity is this shirt from?

Say what you will about her, but it’s not easy raising 3 kids on your own.

I have been a nanny for 12 years. I have nine nieces and nephews. If you’re around a baby for ten minutes and the grossest thing that ends up in your mouth is a binky, it’s a good day.

So we’re just going to ignore the danger this gay student poses by her mere presence before these easily influenced young children?