Awful week. Had my ipad stolen at the auto shop. I should've taken it out of the car, but I was being dumb.

I think I can't keep putting off going to the doctor. I feel tired all the time, sometimes feeling nauseous, feeling depressed, and I have poor concentration. Now I have skipped a period (and nope I am not pregnant). According to MDweb, I have AIDS, Diabetes, Mono, Lupus, Pancreatic Cancer, and a few other ailments.…

"What are you talking about? I'm not vandalizing this place, I'm expressing my 1st amendment rights! It just so happens, I supply my own red paint."

Normally when someone details you until you show them your vagina, it is kidnapping and sexual assault.

I would have stuck my fingers in my vagina and painted fuck you with period blood on the wall, but I'm an animal.

Take a few more bong rips, Miley, and I'm sure you'll think of something.

Seth Rogen was on his show late last year (promoting the interview before it got pulled). Maher asked him if it's hard to be a comedian because everyone is so politically correct and sensitive these days. Rogen responded something to the effect of, "I think a lot of people who complain about political correctness…

he forgot to mention how he thinks he's such a bad ass because he smokes weed.

9. Medicine - pot - since 1975.

Most of these aren't bad on their own, but when you take them together, he starts to sound like the Gwyneth Paltrow of politics.

He has a star on the Walk of Fame? Why? Is the emblem under his name a bronze asshole?

1. Maher isn't really liberal, though. He's libertarian. So he likes to think of himself as radical, even though he has to imagine the world hasn't changed since 1959 to do so.

So, this is Brazil come to life.

but also, lol.

i know right

Yeah it's a pretty masterful piece of shade because it pulls off the rare feat of seeming to poke fun at Obama while letting the true shade of Boehner lie in waiting underneath.

I don't understand this one. It's just a John Boehner selfie on Instagram. How is that shade?

Can't be said enough. (｡◕‿⊝｡)

Fashion, you cray.

#FreeThePeen