Eh, this is actually pretty normal and necessary if you're actively online dating. I started a similar chart after inviting the wrong Jeffrey over for a nightcap. You really only make that mistake once before you start your chart.

I'm not. Someone posted the link on Facebook and it was just too easy.

Here's a solution—scrap the horrible redesign and go back to the old layout. And Denton, you can take your chump change and, well, tuck it away somewhere.

Hey there, Nick. Former longtime Gawker commenter here. Nothing you say changes anything. The wit, the insight, the snark, it's all gone. You did it, you rid Gawker of the peasants. Congratulations, and enjoy your ghetto.

@ShaunTKennedy: Law school career services people instruct female students to ditch the engagement rings and wedding bands for interviews. As some have said below, the assumption is that you're going to spawn on their dime, or have already spawned and will cut out early to go watch little Timmy in a recital, or you'll…

@Perhaps Not: The show was principally written by Bono, which is 78% of the problem cause he is not a playwright!!! But yes, by this point in her career she ought to have known better.

@chatterbox: Bono has never seen the show. He's on tour in Australia or something like that and hasn't attended a single rehearsal or preview performance. It's absolutely insane. That said, Taymor has been doing this for decades and ought to know better. But I suppose when you've banked your reputation on a clunker…

@SidAndFinancy: Even sadder? That this is considered "theater."

@CupcakeMonster: The union will shut 'er down.

@marvel1: Shut up, Bono.

Is it wrong that now I kinda really want to see this?

@moar_cowbellz: Yes, actually I do. Normally not on Jezebel, and I'm starting to see why. You are all very serious about your ladybits.

I'm very confused. They're getting back at the Democrats by making an unwed mother who looks about four months along dance on command? I guess nobody ever accused them of being bright.

@failure_to_communicate: Western NY? My husband's family are from there, so I can confirm who you voted for—the Republican candidates ;)

@Anne Boleyn: No we don't. New York got the new touch screens for the primaries.

@Zenayda: I have a feeling that when he recovers, dude is going to have that photo enlarged poster sized and framed.

They're moving to Del Boca Vista?

@Atilla the Bun: They could stash them in sound proof cubby holes and give you a bag check ticket so as to ensure you get the correct baby on the way out.

I'm a childless shrew so what the heck do I know about babies, but if hitting them gets you a free babysitter for the flight, I might've done the same thing.

@pantsless: Go to Fiji intead. Problem solved.