One of my coworkers was in an elevator with Shawn Wayans, who kept holding the elevator door because he was talking to someone in the lobby. My coworker kept side eyeing Wayans and sighing. Finally, Wayans allowed the door of the elevator to shut. He then lifted his Tshirt to reveal the band on his underwear, on which…

Bill Walton used to live on the same street as me in Cambridge. I never saw him, though my sister did. She was heading down into the Porter Sq. T station and was struck by the grotesquely tall man in front of her, until she became star struck, realizing it was Bill Walton. In a daze, she kept trying to walk thru the…

It was a typical night out at the bars in Minneapolis & was having a great time talking to a really nice guy. In the middle of a sentence, Josh Hartnett bounds up to the guy and drags him away while shouting, “No. Beer googles, dude. No. Beer goggles. Beer goggles. No. No. No. No. Take off your beer goggles. No. No.…

Not so much of a dick story, but close enough.

I went to St. Andrews for university, so we had quite a few golf-loving celebs come through, especially during the Dunhill Cup. At one point I went out with a couple of my friends from hall to go watch some of it, and it was just as boring as you’d expect from, y’know, golf. So we’re talking about how boring it is and…

Oooh, ooh, I got this. I was a big Oasis fan back in the ‘90s, so when the band came to Melbourne my friend and I decided to go to their hotel. My friend found out they were staying at the Hilton, and they rocked up in their van to a small crowd of fans waiting to say hello. The band was quickly ushered into the foyer…

My uncle was a limo driver in the 70’s-80’s and they didn’t have cells back then of course, so when he was late picking up a job at the airport, the person called my grandma’s house to see where he was, my uncle was living with her. She told they guy my uncle had left already and would be there shortly. Aparently the…

Bob Saget did standup at my College in 2008 on the heels of The Aristocrats. When I was standing in line for the bathroom, he cut in front of me, turned around, said, “Sorry, sugartits, gotta make a splash” and slammed the door in my face.

The strange thing was that was the only really weird thing he ever said. Other than that seemed totally normal. Which is terrifying.

hard pass.

Here's to you Missus Robinson

Full disclosure: I am mainly checking the comments to make sure that nothing I’ve sent ends up here.

Me IRL after receiving that sext:

I texted my husband a picture of my boobs when he was out of town once. He texted back a long response about the “dangers of the cloud.”

He sounds hideous.

I can only endorse this proposal if they are required to build a towering electrified fence around the entire state.

Yeah, he was okay I guess. I voted for the other guy.

Hey Texas.

I was thinking he looks more like an upset walrus.

If they’d had some notice, each could have cultivated a misty farway look, “Ronald Reagan will always be alive for me.” Or for Rand Paul and Ted Cruz, “Jefferson Davis will always be alive for me.”