Ok, now I'm thinking I need to bring cake to my classes in the fall. I'm taken, I just have a hard time making friends.

I desperately tried to find the Liz Lemon rubber chicken gif to go with this, but alas no luck!

I am so sick of the whole cupcake thing. Let's have more fried stuff ;) Oh, wait, a cupcake dipped in batter and fried - yep, I would eat that.

I would like it noted that nobody is trying to pick up men with pie. #TeamCake #SuckItPastryStans

I'll be honest. The first time my then-boyfriend mentioned marriage, it was when I said I knew how to make a key-lime pie.

Not me. Give it.

My first two reactions are:

1) If you tried this in Boston you would just get a million cold stares from beneath iron-straight hair and gel encrusted tips.

2) People in LA eat cake?

Now I like me some cake. Especially a red velvet one. However, the key to my stomach is fried chicken. Perhaps followed up with cake.

So let's see: when you're not married, sex is evil and bad and wrong and dirty and you're just like a used piece of tape or a germy cup of water if you have it, even if you totally wanted it. And then when you're married, if you don't fuck on demand, you're just making excuses and it's your fault if your husband…

She also wrote a list of 7 benefits of frequent sex IN MARRIAGE and listed things such as: looking younger, burning off calories, decreasing disease and stress, etc. and THEN turned around and said these benefits are actually reversed if you aren't married. So if I'm not married I don't burn calories during sex? And…

Sorry I wasn't clear in my post, either. If a man gives me the ultimatum of, give him sex on-demand or he will fuck a hooker, I hope him and his hooker are very happy together and that he tries not to spend all the money due to me in alimony on blowjobs.

Imma make a turrible wife.

Excellent. I'm always on the lookout for a good Christian homemaker blog to raise my eyebrows at.

Seriously, does no one realize you're a troll? Stay gray, already.

And then, the miller's daughter told the little man, RUMPLESTILTSKIN! And the little man stomped his feet and then went and fucked a hooker because the woman was mean to him.

Maybe instead of straying, people should TALK to their spouses. Is it super hard to be like "Hey, why don't we fuck anymore?", then have an adult conversation on why the sex dried up, why sex is important in your relationship, and how you can work together to fix it? That's how marriages last without cheating, you…

It's like a humblebrag except it's about infidelity and having a wife that's not attracted to him. A humbleburn?

Um, hate to be that guy, but is this your way of telling us that you fucked a hooker?

Cool story, bro. Did the one guy who gets some at home also do a shitload of housework and child care and all that other shit that wives tend to end up doing? My guess is probably. As for the other guys, I'm guessing probably not. There's a lesson here, friends.

The most reprehensible thing about all this is she has clearly built a blog off of plagiarizing 1950s' Good Housekeepings.