I am madly in love with Halloween and there's nothing you can say to stop me.

I prefer High Priestess, myself. Oracles got shit DONE.

I'm a woman who hangs out in a group of predominantly men often. There was a member of this group who would perennially step out of line so far as to physically stroke a girl's hair or pat her knee when she was inching away from him. We called him out on it repeatedly as you should if another human is in trouble.…

Oh, man, sorry! I just had really promiscuous friends who were all gay in a small town and all banged each other. It was conceivable that you, if you were a gay dude and sexually active with your boyfriend(s), could bang 48 times with that person throughout the course of the year.

Well, to be honest, the last funeral I was at a couple months ago (may Grand-Grandnanny Fishnets rest in peace), a great deal of the adults were on their phones, checking their godawful BlackBerries (my family is several years behind the technological curve) and iPhones. One asshole dictated an email while the pastor…

Wow, dude has managed to do the thing 48 whole times in his life. Almost as much as your average-looking high school senior with a decent personality and knowledge of birth control could achieve, if he or she really wanted to.

Close enough.

You are neither judge nor jury, it is not your duty to "expose" these women, at least some of whom have likely been falsely accused. Get therapy for the hero-martyr complex that causes you to focus on the alleged issues of others, rather than the very clear issues of your own, and you may be surprised just how…

And then have a baby named Grommet and a third one named Seam Ripper.

Evidently not, sweetheart, as your degree has no bearing on your ability to interact with human beings.

Not nearly as chafing as your lack of couth must be at a dinner party.

I'm not even in grad school yet but I've basically braced myself for 4-5 years of near-to-actual poverty, to be quite honest. Huzzah for majoring in English and wanting a doctorate.

Oh, man, are we from the same family? I don't mind wacky/weird/highly unusual middle names, honestly (in fact, I wish I had one myself so I could do that instead of my first name) but, with people like this, I just want to shake them and shout "Please go with something the kid will be able to spell for his first…

you child-free graduate degree-brandishing skanks with your fancy jobs and your disposable income

This is illogical. Julianne Hough has publicists that, even if Hough is an idiot and couldn't understand what the implications were, should've pulled Hough back - and did not.

It isn't taught in school, mainly. People aren't born with an in-depth knowledge of racial tensions and white people don't really have to absorb it as they grow up, so that contributes to the issue. If you don't take AP classes in high school and don't go to college, you can probably get to your 30s without…

I was named after a Biblical place, and all of my siblings have ridiculous variations of character names from the Bible, because my parents wanted to consecrate all their children to God (we all fled the Catholic Church en masse after I was Confirmed, so that didn't work well). Certain old names just seem ridiculous…

Indeed it is, though I was thinking of the character in the Odyssey (which I guess I associate with Greekness somewhat understandably? Maybe?)

So much this

our baby Ulysses