Seriously! If anything, wouldn't one's spouse getting murdered make anyone less inclined to bang, let alone bang a thirteen-year-old? Depression is not noted to be good for the libido.

I don't care who you are or what your sexual orientation is. If you don't dig body glitter, especially strategically applied body glitter... well.

Ugh. The screen's all blurry and my nose is running now. Thanks a lot!

Thank you!

Nope, I'm getting an age restriction notice.

Absolutely. It just.... sounds better.

I shudder to think of the comments on the parody video, now that I think of it... YouTube comment sections are bad, bad places.

FOR EXACTLY THIS REASON

HIS EYEBROW MANEUVERS. They crack me up!

My advice to anyone who is looking to make friends with anyone is to bring cake or cookies places. WORLD PEACE BAM.

As someone who has been the depressed partner and someone who has had a depressed partner, the best thing is to ask what your partner needs - or, if you are the depressed partner, verbally communicate what you need and remember at all times taking things out on your partner isn't fair.

Something tells me with all the publicity this kid will have, it may not stick...

While this is fascinating history (seriously I do find this interesting), it also confuses me. Is Prince Charles changing his name to George if by some miracle he becomes King (didn't think he was in the line of succession)? Or is Charles saying the baby would be George? And are George and Charles the only acceptable…

ANOTHER King George? Couldn't we have gone with Alexander? Or, I don't know, Nathaniel? Nathaniel's a cool name. Or Jett. A King Jett would be great.

Vampires aren't Christians and they don't have souls! And they're illegal immigrants from Transylvania!

Exactly. Y'ever hear that story that all babies start out as female in the womb? Erroneous. All babies begin as tiny Dick Cheneys, complete with baldness.

Er, those fetus dolls are some shit straight out of LSD-fueled boozy nightmares.

The fuck it was.

Ah, I'm nowhere near Seattle, more's the pity. Thanks for the link, though!

Okay, that isn't fair. Can't one of them turn out looking like a mere mortal?