I'm gonna teach a class on How To Not Be An Asshole When Being Around Women: For Straight Men (TM). The first step class - "How To Walk By Random Women and Not Be An Asshole" - will go something like this: "Men. You will occasionally be going about your day and notice a woman. Don't panic. You both have things to do.…

Kids run the gamut. In my own graduating class, I estimate 50 percent don't have sex until college, and 50 percent have already have sex by graduation, and among the 50 percent who have, there's a HUGE diversity in how many partners they've had/admit to having.

This times a thousand. Ohhhh well, guess that means we'll just have to get laid... eventually....

Ironically I've noticed in the queer community you don't get much judged (that I've seen or experienced) for banging, or for deliberately choosing not to bang, or for banging one person or whatever. Maybe that's just my area, though. The Suburban Zone (much like the Twilight Zone, except with minivans and soccer…

In my RELATIONSHIPS? Bahahah. I am that obnoxious person that gives disgustingly adorable/sickeningly sweet nicknames to everyone important in my life. And I will deliberately choose ironic nicknames, too. Sweetiesue and dollface are reserved for my two best male friends.

I feel like "charm" is such a nebulous value at this point that it's moot. Hell, at this point I'd settle for some plain ol' good manners, in men and women both.

This makes me all kinds of angry.

There was an article on Jez a while back that mentioned men actually ripping them out, if I'm not mistaken.

To them, though, it must not play as a mistake. They've finally achieved what they wanted, in a way - so they might even look at that whole crime spree thing as the best career decision they ever made.

No. But I was extremely disappointed to see that armwarmers are optional.

Pony what what?

That's so crazy. You've encouraged my latent desire to be a mermaid. Thank you/it's all your fault.

One, if you think the men on Grindr are all totes homogay ain't touchin' da ladeez, you're wrong. Lots of bisexual men on there. The other thing is, meningitis spreads easily with physical contact - not just banging or making out, but cuddling or even hugging. So, if you've got a Grindr-using friend/family…

The amateur mistake is to pucker, but then you'll end up with this awkward bloblike O unless you have literally the perfect cupid's bow. If you are gifted with those bows, then pucker away! If not - well, when in doubt, do not pout.

That is one hell of an interesting raffle prize! Do you have to hold your breath while underwater or is there some oxygen tank trickery going on, or what? (Sorry! I just find this super interesting.)

Does your city have boards or something to that effect? If it's a big city, especially one with a record for liberal-ness like NYC, you may well find body-positive websites, probably with forums. Ask around and see what comes up.

I've heard rumors that my general physician's office has a physician like that in it.

NO. WAY. HOW DO YOU GET THIS JOB?

Brush your lips veeeeery carefully against whatever surface you're using, top first, and then bottom. Basically this should look as though you are literally using someone's face as a tissue to blot excess lipstick off all at once.

Clearly this is Jesus's punishment for the gays having all the good hookup apps. Hand over your networking know-how to the straights, guys, time's up.