I live in Georgia. Get the fuck away from me with your “ceiling fans”.

My parents paid for a ridiculously lavish wedding for my sister. 500 people. The groom wanted 1,000 people even though 1) he has never been as popular as he thinks he is. In fact, he has few friends and he’s very disliked, 2) his family didn’t contribute with SHIT. My dad put his foot down. Absolutely no 1,000 guests.…

All of my financial plans are thrown off by cats! Like, oh, I’ve got enough money to last the next two weeks till payday but wait! Those fuckers have gone through an entire bag of dry food in three days and a half ton of litter, surprise!

Chopping off her hair. What kind of fucking medieval punishment is this? That’s what they did to women who slept with Germans during the French occupation. Getting drunk or whatever doesn’t warrant this hateful treatment. This is horrid.

Is Kim wearing a fruit roll-up in that top picture?

I did everything by the book. Told my ex before I told our son, and didn’t sugar the pill. My ex is a control freak and hated the fact that it was me that ended things. At that point, any attempt to be nice meant that I must want him back, so it was easier to be matter-of-fact.

i’m not saying it was necessary for it to be this graphic, because for me it definitely wasn’t, but i do support the creative decision to let this happen to Jamie (as horrible as that sounds). for some reason i feel like it kind of resonates with Jamie being a virgin until marriage and Claire being such a sexually…

I have two cats. I wear glasses. THREAT QUELLED
(plus, neither has ever attempted to lick my eyes; apparently Tonkinese cats have better boundaries)

That kid is so cute it’s not fair. Her blonde hair blue eye combo is like perfection. Not only that, her suit is completely appropriate. That hand on hip pose is pure sassy-pants behavior. I bet she takes dance class or something, because that's a totally normal pose for young kids...cause it's easy. Puh-leeeaze...

Not really joking. All of the Bothering Me options are a No Go. I don’t really give a crap if anyone’s kid gets to see grandma or not. You got your troubles I got mines.

“Having a child doesn’t mean you have to stop living your life and limiting where you go...”

Actually, that’s exactly what it means. Having a child means changing your lifestyle significantly.

• I pick this one: “She visits her grandmother’s house for the first time when she’s old enough to pay for her own seat, iPad, and Beats by Dre headphones.” Keep your kid out of my underseat space. It’s mine. I bought it. Your kid is your problem. If she’s not old enough to fly, then she’s not old enough to fly.

I love the epic song of hers from The Great Gatsby soundtrack.

I just watched this last night and it was so sad. Much sadder than expected, cause I thought it was just about segregated prom. But really it’s about the shit parade that is US racism. And what a shit parade it is. Humans are the worst.

You guys could be us. We’re not married but have been together 20 years.

Same. I decided I didn’t care, and now I honestly don’t know. I’m fine with that.

My husband and I not only have never revealed our Number to each other, we have never once talked about any prior relationships. Ever. Married 15 years, together for 20 and happily none the wiser.

Yeah he doesn’t know and he doesn’t ask and I’m not telling. I’m with him. I have been tested and it’s none of his business. He has also never told me because we respect each other’s privacy. It is also because I can’t remember.