Between the Niners letting Harbaugh go, the A's trading all their best players, and the Giants pretty much letting anyone who wasn't tied down just walk out, there are some Bay Bridge-level implosions going on right now in NorCal (the Raiders go without saying, because they're the Raiders). I can't remember a time…

If two people who seemed to have literally been made for each other (by Vincent Price as The Inventor) and had perfectly subverted the issues of cohabitation can't make it, who among us can? I'll take this as proof that humans weren't meant to mate for life.

it's ok to start drinking

My sex drive went way up on Mirena (I was on the pill for 10 years before switching.)

I love my Mirena and definitely am like 85% sure that one of my friends got hers because I talked about how much I like mine so much. I am supremely bad at taking my daily pills and was pretty much constantly worried that I was accidentally pregnant. Now, not only do I not have to worry, but my period only lasts a day!

So I think we can safely assume now that karma is not a bitch.

Oh my God, on a sidenote, bad sex. Bad sex is the worst. I don't think it's a dealbreaker for me right away because if I really like the guy otherwise, and he's willing to work on the sex part with me, then fine. But someone who just refuses to even try? No. Definitely a dealbreaker.

Picture yourself:

I couldn't date a man who isn't a feminist or at least willing to become one. The latter are usually well meaning people who just don't understand that they probably already are.

I couldn't date a woman who isn't a feminist.

In Which My Clitoris Sends A Text:

Maybe I'm a monster, but here are my dealbreakers (yes, plural):

Step back, y'all. I got this.

Am I the only person left who genuinely likes and prefers the missionary position?

Abusive towards animals, humans, whatever.

jackrabbit sex. You know that sex where it's like they're masturbating but with your vagina.

Saying "I don't know what's wrong with you, my last three girlfriends got off from three minutes of missionary."

It's never come up, but I could never be with someone who didn't love animals or who expected me to give up my pets.

She looks amazing, but I think she should stop for a second and consider why the photographer chose to portray her as a lubed-up queen standing on a produce box as a pedestal, and rising out of a trash bag that is sitting on the slick alcohol/piss-covered floor of a back alley. Symbolism — it means something.

This, with a caveat. I was in a comfortable relationship that was starting to get very serious, and then I met Mr.SuperCalaWhat, and immediately knew I'd rather be with him than my boyfriend. I then broke up with my boyfriend BEFORE initiating a relationship with Mr., because I realized it didn't matter if Mr and I…