I think it was Armin Miewes, because he’s the only cannibal I can recall who actually talks about eating a penis. Dahmer was kind of coy about the cannibalism aspect of his murders, but he did say it was like eating filet mignon. And it’s okay, I studied forensic psychology for two years and definitely know way too…

“I like meeting women who already know everything about me, so I don’t have to suddenly drop this bomb on them.”

I can’t eat clam chowder because a cannibal at one point said that eating overcooked or possibly raw human penis had a rubbery texture not unlike clams. I happened to read that while I was eating clam chowder. :(

James Randi is a wonderful, hilarious, brilliant guy. And he’s very tiny. Like, tinier than I thought he would be. He spoke at my college a few years back, and I got to meet him because I was part of the group that had him brought in. His rage at charlatans, mediums and psychics in particular, gives me life. It isn’t…

I HAVE SEEN THIS KIND OF SHIT EXACTLY ONCE AND UGH. I was at one of those evening museum things at the modern art museum in n Phoenix a couple years ago with a guy I was seeing. There was this giant two-sided wall of colored paper pressed together to make a sort of gradient (I’m explaining this badly, but it was cool…

I saw Pitbull in concert a few years ago, and he can get it. He never buttons shirts all the way and it looks great when he dances. Also his dancers are incredibly hot and able to dance in heels. I’ve never been so sexually frustrated at a concert in my life.

He’s a DILCBMNPIDK: Dad I’d like to cuddle but maybe not platonically? idk

My money (ha) would be on bowel obstruction or maybe split stomach with sepsis? There’s no quick, painless way to die by eating 10,000 pennies.

This comment is so damn pleasant, and now I’m just thinking of my very first job. I was 17 and worked at a pizza place. It was fun, I just wasn’t making too much money and there was no way to really advance or get decent raise. And my 27 year old coworker may have wanted to fuck me? I actually just realized this.

What the fuck this is the lazy shit I made after school before I learned how to cook. I don’t understand???

I just screeched “IDONTUNDERSTAND???” in the middle of my store and my coworkers think I’m having another nervous breakdown.

Not since August. I use dry shampoo sparingly once a month, twice if it gets more humid than usual. My hair is a fluffy, coarse, frizzy nightmare, and now it’s manageable and actually healthy. Except I know it’s going to get wet at some point and I’m irrationally worried it’ll like fall out or something.

In California, a few of our county fairs have gator sausage. It’s really not hard to get even where she lives. I’m so confused.

Oh man it’s almost like these jackasses don’t have a clear idea about global politics and economy.

You ever find out two friends from different friend groups started dating and you wonder how the hell they even met each other?

Ho ly shit that is my nightmare town.

That fridge was my favorite friend if the housewives.

I try to think about that, but I also think about how we go to places like Pulse to feel safe and happy, especially during Pride celebrations. I think of the hope and joy we carry during Pride celebrations and know they were feeling that before the fear settled in. It feels like a violation.

I just hope that I’m wrong, that there is an afterlife, and that the victims are there and at peace right now. I want them to be okay.

I want to feel anything other than sorrow and hurt, but I can’t. All I’ve been doing is crying. My community is bleeding, and all I can do is cry.