Bless you for having a NYE wedding. I loathe New Years, and I always hope I’ll get invited to a wedding that night, lol.

I fucking hate buffets at weddings. I don’t want to be balancing multiple plates and waiting in line, especially after cocktail hour when I’m already drunk. Sliders station is awesome, but for cocktail hour.

As a teacher, I am saying that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. This goes for students of ALL age. I’ve witnessed a lot.

Also, OMG how did I not realize this, YOUR NAME IS AMAZING. I just read it for the first time and died laughing remembering that scene.

My boyfriend is a lawyer, my best friend is a lawyer, and many of my friends are lawyers. That is debatable lol. There are law schools that will literally take anyone and are basically diploma mills (no offense to my friends, but still, these types of law schools exist).

I’d say that assuming that restaurants expect a certain amount of tableware theft is the WRONG attitude to have...but I’m totally not judging your husband on stealing that spork. I would be amazed as well. I have never seen a spork outside my school cafeteria. It was actual silverware?

Legitimately wealthy people are some of the cheapest people you will ever meet. How do you think all that wealth accumulated/stays around? Nuevo riche are throwing their money around like it’s nothing, old money be hoarding that shit and cutting corners.

At many weddings I’ve been to, you’re encouraged to take them as well.

As the daughter of an abusive father with Narcissitic Personality Disorder to you *hugs* and true that. I had a lot of issues with “Honor thy mother and father” in church as a kid. Like, ALWAYS? Even if they are completely fucked up? Oh, okay.

You’re obviously not a teacher ;) You’d be surprised at how many of those you get from kids. Honestly, I’d think I was full of it if I didn’t just spend my last hour grading word problem responses.

My dad reached for the slotted metal spoon, because, and I quote “Metal vibrates, and the holes allow for less wind resistance as you swing” He thought this was HYSTERICAL as he did it. Even 30 year old me is cringing at the thought. The only thing he taught me to do was to distrust authority figures. Every kid is…

Fuck no. I love teaching in them. You can’t get me to stop wearing them in the classroom. Perfect for when the weather is transitioning. Come at me, bro.

Really? I think when people speak French, it sounds like there’s phlegm in their throat. I agree with the Portuguese. I LOVE listening to Italian, but I’m prob biased on that one. Although my 85 (at the time) year old grandmother marched right up to a boy working at the grocery store speaking Spanish to another…

#1: I love your username. #2: I teach elementary school, and one of the (very few) perks of the job (though I love it) is being able to fart all the time because there are many, many other little farting children around me. It’s great.

I had a nose job at 27 (I think?). Granted it was for severe sinus issues (my turbinates are inverted so I had a turbinectomy, REALLY bad deviated septum and I was getting sinus infections every MONTH. Seriously, I teach, and every cold automatically turned into a sinus infection cause they couldn’t drain properly).…

It’s basically a segway without a handle.

Yep. Language is not static; it’s an ever changing social construct.

I second this. I absolutely LOVED Rome, adored Sorrento and the Amalfi Coast, and was meh on Florence.

The Scary Stories to tell in the Dark books?

I am not denying this at all. Interesting that this detail was left out of the article. However, I used to work for the world’s largest manufacturer of fudge ingredients (I know, shut up, insert fudge packer jokes here, I’ve heard them all), and I used to have to do trade shows. Sometimes we flew with finished fudge…