Yes to this. No restaurant should be so accommodating to weirdos that they will squeeze the fucking mayo out of cole slaw. Just say no and move on. If the customer doesn't like it, they can move on as well.

I always try to go at least twice a year... I'm not yet one of those people who get season tickets, dress up, and basically hang out every weekend, but I can feel it happening.

Sorry, Mom.

I submitted the cheese story. He was an ok tipper. 15% if you didn't piss him off, 12% if you did. Re: the dining companion: I don't know if they were dates, but doubt that they were. They were always women, but older, and they had the air of eating with one of those people in your life who you don't particularly care…

They are, trust me, but if you're nice and tip well, they're making fun of you in a good natured way.

Old and used to being taken care of by the world. It's the peril of being a coddled-type male, seriously. When these guys' wives die, they are completely helpless. They honestly don't know how they like their coffee, what to order in the restaurant they've gone to three times a week for thirty years, nothing.

Yusssssss. I, too, will be there before they close for the season! I haven't been in a while. I'm looking forward to the dude that fires insults at people. And beer! Always beer.

neoliberal war hawk

The one and only!

You wouldn't happen to be talking about the Bristol Ren Faire, would you?

Summer's not over yet. I'll be rockin the Ren Faire in a few weeks, we'll see who's laughing then Malia.

I NEVER care how weird people are about their orders if they're nice about it. Never. "I'm sorry, I know this is odd/a pain in the butt/not common" followed by a nice tip equals "well that was odd, but that person is nice." Because I worked in a coffee shop for ten years, when I go into coffee shops to get a latte…

Waiting for Reps Gohmert and Bachmann complaining on Fox on who paid for the tickets. Which will lead to teabaggers going nutso.

I'm not going to say what I get because I think it's specific enough that it would identify me to people who know me, but it's similar to the first story - eating a garnish-type item that is not really meant to be eaten by itself. I probably get it twice a month. I'm always polite and pretty self-deprecating about it…

Oh God, solidarity sister. The concept of "no croutons, no cheese" on salads has tripped up many a server during my travels.

I have a friend that buys the flavored syrups coffee stands uses. He always puts one pump (I think that's roughly an ounce?) of carmel, one pump of vanilla, and one pump of salted caramel. Oh, and did I mention this is per 8oz of coffee?

The only people I know who drink coffee black are over the age of 60. I'm comfortably over 30, and have never drunk coffee black, and don't know anyone who does. Though I am also not into the "hot Snickers Bar" that "the young people" seem to order at Starbucks.

When I worked at a cafe I found that the regulars who were super specific with their order (like, specifying the temperature of their coffee drink, or requesting a bizarre drink order like the "dry latte" lady upthread, or generally making a big fuss about everything) were kind of sad. There was also lots of…

I wouldn't mind a burger with blue cheese on it, but I have no idea how much to put on there. PLEASE, DO IT FOR ME, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST PUT ON THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF BLUE CHEESE THAT I LIKE ON MY BURGER OH GOD I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD!!

I would charge him $30 for being such a dipshit.