It is, and it's boring.

I hadn't heard of Martyrs until now. I checked out the parents' guide on IMDb. Among other things, it says, "A woman is shown partly unconscious with her whole body skinned, barring her face" and "A woman is seen wincing for several seconds as her backside is skinned offscreen." I think I'll skip it.

You have to turn the 2x4 the other way to get it through the doorway. No, not that way, the other way.

They're going to Ireland again? Fuck it.

I once had a doctor try to send me to a mental hospital because he mistook my classic migraine for overdose-induced psychosis. My dad had a lot of contacts in the medical community (he was an oral surgeon), and he raised the right kind of fuss with the right entities. There had been numerous complaints to the state…

I got stuck behind a motorcade right before Christmas of 2000, when the Bush family was going from the governor's mansion to Fort Hood to fly to Washington. They had six cop cars each in front and behind, spread out to block all three lanes and both shoulders, and they were going the fucking speed limit. It was one of…

In one of the towers, with Steve Ranazzisi.

I am so predisposed to using AdBlock that I end up missing wonderful found comedy moments like that.

One thing that really bugged me after 9/11 was when so many people said, "Boy, he's a really great president. Isn't it a good thing we elected him rather than one of those other guys?" Seriously? He went to Ground Zero, and he gave a speech. Said speech was all the right platitudes — "tragedy", "sad", "sympathy",…

I'll take a truckload of the green, please.

My go-to bit of hyperbole, recently used here re Idris Elba, is that I would happily sit in a theater and watch such-and-such actor brush his teeth for two hours.

This may be an urban legend, but supposedly there was a Rolls-Royce commercial where the voiceover said something like, "Driving down the road in your new Rolls-Royce, the loudest thing you hear will be the ticking of the dashboard clock." And then when one of the engineers heard it, he said something like, "We have…

I made the mistake of buying the novelization before I knew what that means. It was horrible.

English Breakfast Tea: The Conspiracy

If they keep the money, they can all get Star Wars watches and still have enough money left to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings!

They can be one thing!

I think Keanu Reeves's total lack of acting skills had something to do with the awfulness of the first one.

Hey, that's a used Fiskars shovel!

I would think wiping your ass with a Faberge egg would hurt. There are lots of pointy bits on a lot of them.

Awful. Bad CGI, bad dialog, bad acting, bad (very bad) song, bad plotting, bad pacing. I'll give it a couple more episodes, but I'm not hopeful.