Yeah. This hurt to read.

...Then she tasks her maid to make a nutritious broth, in the hopes that she can’t.

This is a shameful instance of over correction that came as a result of listening to this song. Corrected now, though!

I want to ask for just the onions, but I don’t want to do that to another living person. Man, do peppers suck.

Sometimes karma comes in forms that we don’t immediately recognize. Has she suffered from illness, poverty, or abuse since then? No. She has everything she wants, and on the outside it might seem unfair. However, she has no contact with her grandchildren and her only child (me), which means that as she gets older, she…

I was just sitting here thinking of how to continue from there.

i would eat that. but i put all kinds of weird stuff in my ice cream maker. putting some sort of sweet crunchy cereal in last and serving it right away is delicious.

A bunch of 20 something year old reporters fronting like they actually used to listen to 98 Degrees back in the day. Puh-leeze. You were all still in diapers back then. Admit it.

I sometimes have issues opening a bag of Doritos when I’m super stoned, let alone make a noose out a plastic bag strong enough to hold my weight.

your grandmother sounds amazing - i’ll take it!

That’s why I occasionally drive by and throw trash in the yard of the guy who works the night-shift at my corner gas station. “Fuck you, Roger! Why my gas and smokes still so spendy?”

Like a baby feminist Pai Mei.

WHATEVER HATERZ

Haha, I suppose that’s true. *I* would probably enjoy it. It might be a let down to people who have expectations about what weddings are supposed to be like, but they can fuck right off.

AAAAAAAAAAH WHAT A DICK.

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.

I’ve been beating myself up since I was a kid! I don’t even know where it comes from, so I’m afraid of being unable to protect my [nonexistent but hypothetical future] daughters from it! I didn’t play with barbies, I have a totally norm-core loving two-parent family, nobody ever told me I couldn’t do something I…

I don’t understand the question.

I went to Catholic schools from.first grade.through college. These women are incredibly hard working people and totally devoted.to their vows, vow of.poverty cannot be eaay. Between Brothers, nun and lay teachers. When it comes to knowing subjects in purest form nuns are the best. Lay teachers are best at teaching how…