This is exactly why I encouraged one of my friends to go to school to become a mechanic. It’ll be a cold day in hell when I bring my car to a dealer mechanic.

That fruit hung so low you dragged yourself down to hell to reach it and I respect that

Yet another case where I must ask, “Why would anyone live in New york?”

I’ve never seen a clearer example of a “holier than thou” attitude

It’s probably mostly motorsport teams

Mine were somewhere in between: no snacks, so if you’re hungry say something and we’ll start looking for lunch.

“Let’s go to Japan to experience a different culture!”

It’s like trump is seeing how far he can push things before his diehard fans push back. He just keeps whittling away at any of his potential 2020 voters. I’m pretty sure if there were any libertarians considering him, they’ve dipped after this.

“A fish can feel your fear. And if you’re fearful, it will stick on the grill like a motherfucker.”

Not really when you consider the message this race sends is “these cars finished this race on one set of our tires, imagine how long they’ll last you”

I’m almost exactly 3,000 miles away

Twas a joke my guy

If you don’t want me to bring my ham sandwich you shouldn’t have offered your car.

Not a ride hailing driver, but I think it’s safe to say:

Ikea debuts: “The ball”

Yeah, but at least fixing the jeep is enjoyable.

This is only an acceptable practice if you can visibly see that it has not been sneezed on. Unfortunately that requires either constant monitoring or super human vision, so unless you’re spying on your customers or have been eating nothing but carrots you’re entire life, throw the bread away.

Only a heathen would prepare a salad with anything but fine salad preparation gloves

Thank you, and I’m sure you’ll be enthralled to learn I’m gonna commission a trophy to remember this victory.