I’m from Southern Illinois.

Illinois is in, too. How completely unsurprising.

Oh, there’s more. If you want to “jack it,” you should remove your pants, right? So take off your pants, and jack it.

I've always thought that one "copped" a squat, not "popped" one.

Sorry, all, but this makes my day! I loved the things when I was a teenager in the 90s, and I love them still. I knew if I waited long enough they'd come back around, as everything eventually does. :)

Amen. At least two reside in my purse at all times. *nods*

Amen. At least two reside in my purse at all times. *nods*

Worst to actually EAT, yes. But if, upon finding them too nasty to eat, you lick them and stick them to the garage wall, they'll stay for months and months, even outdoors. This discovery blew my childish mind.

That’s one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. *sniff*

His parents. Seriously.

I only WISH we’d excluded my husband’s parents from our wedding. Just as we were saying our “I do”s, his dad jumped up out of his seat, shouted “F—- this!”, and stormed out of the room, dragging his wife behind him.

This is me too, only in 8th grade! I always thought the saying that stars "twinkle" was just a figure of speech, until I saw them do it; that was after I was done being amazed at how many there are. Clouds, birds, trees, EVRYTHING, brand new. There's no way to describe the sense of awe that's inspired when you get to…

If it weren't for the fact that I'm an only child, you might be my sibling. I was brainwashed into giving absolutely no thought or plans for the future, because I was never going to grow up anyway. I was taught nothing practical at all— just pray and wait, cuz it's coming any second! Now here I am pushing toward 40,…

I was warcriminal420.

Excuse me? Who was even paying attention to this moppet after hearing that amazing rendition of Chandelier???

Seriously, if you guys only knew how many close calls I’ve had due to a wasp in the car... It’s shitty and embarrassing to scream and run when people are watching, but it's literally out of my control. I feel for this woman, knowing how uncontrollable a reaction can be and how powerless one feels when confronted with…

What is this? All of my Midwestern acquaintances play pinochle.

Mine too. And her adorable granddad... They're so sweet together that it makes me cry every time I see them, missing my own adorable granddad.

Maybe this is the answer to all of my problems... I never get any room in the bed either, sharing it with one human, a dog, and two cats. BIGGER! MOAR!

Yeah, how does a basically cheery person like myself score a FIVE? I mean, I know my life sucks and I deserve a freaking medal for the level of good cheer that I manage to maintain, but... five?

Just a piece of happy possibility for you... I’ve been taking SSRIs for many years with varying degrees of success, but they always crapped out after a while and stopped working. Switch to another version, rinse, repeat. When we added Trileptal, suddenly things started to normalize. The SSRIs were working again, and…