LIES!!!!

Here’s what still baffles me: you should only buy Neymar if you’re set to build your entire team around his talents. It’s what makes sense. It’s what makes him happiest. It’s what Brazil’s national team had to do. He’s not one of Destiny’s Child. He’s Beyonce. This is why he had to leave Barcelona; because Barca were…

Agent Smith (monotone): “I once saw Mister Aaaanderson kill three agents with a spoon. With a fucking spoon. The odd thing is that there was no spoon.”

The idea of cord-cutting was it would save you money, but

I'd imagine something like, "USA? Who wants to be a part of that shithole county. They don't even have health coverage!"

The blonde-haired, blue eyed girl who lists her ethnicity as “Native American”

It’ll let you unlock your phone with your breath and Siri will get the voice of Scarlett Johanson

They keep saying that a manual is coming, but at this point in time Tool will release their next album before George RR Porsche will show us the manual 

***Pro Tip****

It’s just like my dad always says...
*three minute voicemail of ambient traffic noise and AM radio*

Ah yes, the country that declares the Men’s World Cup trophy (created by a Frenchman and awarded by an organization based in Switzerland) is “coming home” anytime they string a couple of victories together is schooling us on arrogance. Got it.

From: Gordon McKenzie (g.mac@outlook.ca)

The lack of stoppage time was the biggest failure of this game. Both teams were desperate for a win. Those final five plus minutes that were taken away by the early whistle could have been the most dramatic so far in this tournament. I really believed we were going to see one more goal.

A good walk golf cart ruined.

I saw Canadian Soccer Pundits at SXSW a couple years ago. I think they opened for Dead Sara.

More likely there were a bunch of skeptics who ordered it and while eating the real meat burgers, thinking they were the Impossible burger, they were saying, “Yuk! This is terrible! It tastes nothing like the real thing!”

The problem (beyond his obvious incompetence) is he reverse-Hobbited the story. You can’t cram three movies worth of story into one movie any more than you can stretch one movie’s worth of story across three.

“Are you sure that’s a catch?”

If it doesn’t depreciate by 40% in the first three years, and replacement parts don’t cost three times the price of normal parts, then it’s not a luxury car.